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August 30, 2018

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 1

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 1

 

It seems as if the Universe has been nudging me to write this message. I have been witnessing and extraordinary amount of people being fake by pretending to be who they are not. Just turn on the T.V. and listen to the news. It’s becoming the norm in every industry. So many people talking the talk but not walking the walk. It is not our words but our actions that speak our truth. Thankfully there are still those who choose to live an authentic life.

I love the quote by Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

The intent may not be to deceive others. It can unintentionally happen when we have not taken the time to explore and know our true self. The fear of what others may think and the desire to fit in also pushes many to be less than authentic.

While sadly to say there are others who intentionally mask who they are and become a chameleon to get what they want. These behaviors are dangerous whether they are intentional or not. They don’t merely hide but transform who we are. We become who we impersonate.

This message is focused on showing up our best authentic us in an often times artificial world. “Today is a great day to show your shine!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf. This quote reflects the core of my belief system and is the compass of my life. It is my mantra for serving others in this day, not waiting until the opportunity which may never come again.

Do you have a quote or statement that reflects your core belief system, your compass in life, your mantra for serving others? If not, what would you like it to be? As important as it is to have a business vision statement, it is even more important to define personal core values. It is key to limit it to a few core words or it dilutes clarity. What four core words in order of priority would you choose? Having core value words will help guide us in our decision and actions. They will help us show up to shine every day. For example my four core words in order of priority; lifter, authentic, happy and committed.

  • Lifter – lift others up to shine
  • Authentic – be true to who I am
  • Happy – be present, grateful and celebrate life’s gifts
  • Committed – perseverance to continue to succeed in when difficult

In life things don’t always go our way and people can be interesting. Interesting is a great way to describe difficult personalities and behaviors. Having four core words helps us to be who we want to be even when our emotions would lead us astray. I heard a powerful quote from Fred Joyal during a recent interview webinar discussing culture.   “The gap between reaction and response is wisdom!” Our response will support who we choose to be when we take time to think before we react.

Maybe some of you aren’t necessarily thrilled with the role you are playing in your life right now. It is never too late. You can change how you live your life starting today. In every breath we take we have the opportunity to continue to grow and become the person we choose to be. Day dream for a moment. Imagine, what would your life look like if you were your best you? What core values would you add or change? What would you start doing and what would you stop doing? What daily action steps would you need to take to support those values?

It takes confidence, perseverance and commitment to show up and be our best us. Confidence, perseverance and commitment are what separate the people who talk-the-talk from those who walk-the-walk. All three are vital to achieving authentic success!

Let’s start with confidence. The more confidence we have in our self, the less likely we are to sway in our beliefs and give in to the noise from others.   Real confidence comes from knowing who we want to be and accepting our self…our strengths and overcoming our limitations…in contrast to depending on affirmation of others.

I remember when I was starting my business, Practice Solutions Inc. in 2006. I had advice on what the best, proper, or the only way to do things. I realized quickly I had to decide what the core values of my coaching/speaking business would be to avoid having my business philosophy change daily on the whims and beliefs of others. Much of the advice I received focused on monitoring numbers and the bottom line. What rang true to me was to not focus on the bottom line. Instead I chose to focus on happy and healthy doctor, team, and patient relationships built on trust and respect. A healthy sustainable bottom line would be the result not the focus. Yes, it would still be important to know, understand and monitor numbers, systems, and protocols to know the health of the practice.   However, the practice’s success would come from the change in mindsets, attitude, and communication resulting in happier, healthier, higher performing culture.

It’s time we stop worrying about what others think. The truth is we are so busy worrying about ourselves we don’t spend more than a few seconds worrying about others. Do you even remember what the headlines in the news were yesterday? If you are like most you don’t…and it was the headlines. We have been given the gift a life. What a shame it would be to waste our life being someone we are not.

People are drawn to people who are confident in being real. It’s time to be authentic and show our quirky and unique nuances to the world. Our sense of people’s authenticity has an enormous impact on how much we trust them, how comfortable we are with them, and how willing we are to follow them. Sharing our authentic self is a vital, essential piece to becoming true to our self and our core beliefs. When we share who we really are and what we are passionate about, our message comes across loud and clear and rings true!

Tune into Part 2 to read about the power of perseverance and commitment to achieve authentic success!

August 3, 2018

The Power of Appreciation!

The Power Appreciation!

Appreciation is a fundamental human need yet is often considered an unnecessary nicety. Niceties like please, thank you, that was awesome, and I appreciate you. After all why should we have to interrupt our busy day to tell someone else we appreciate them? Aren’t they just being needy? Doesn’t that show a lack of confidence on their part if they need constant reinforcement? They should know that they are appreciated without having to have a pat on the back. Wrong! That little pat on the back is so powerful that 64% of Americans leave their job because of lack of it.

So what is so powerful about appreciation? Appreciation gives us purpose! Appreciation changes perceptions! Appreciation emits positivity! We all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments. It’s important for us to know that we truly make a difference.

 

Let’s start with Purpose.

Appreciation expressed through acknowledgement of our good work confirms our work is valued. When our work is valued, our satisfaction and performance rises and we feel purpose. Feeling genuinely appreciated makes us feel secure, which is what empowers us to do our best work. If a person takes the time to express their heart-felt appreciation for something we have done, it makes us feel good about what we do. It builds our self-confidence, self-esteem and our entire self-image. It gives us energy and motivation to work harder and do more.

Appreciation put simply is positive feedback. We all want to know whether our employers think we are doing well. Positive feedback is their confirmation. When we aren’t given positive feedback it seems as if they don’t notice, care or value our contribution. Instead we may only hear when we are doing something wrong. A healthy ratio is three positives to every one negative feedback conversation. Exceptional relationships are the result of five positives to every one negative.

When we don’t feel valued we wonder if we are doing a good job. We may even worry if we are at risk of losing our job. We lose our sense of purpose if we believe what we do isn’t important enough to be noticed and appreciated. Purpose is powerful!

 

Next is Perception!

Appreciation can change our perception by changing our focus. For example let’s say you’re not getting along with a coworker. It is our nature to focus on what we don’t like and take for granted the things we do like. We get so focused on what we don’t like about a person we stop seeing the good in them.

Here is an exercise for the next time you get really upset with someone…your spouse, significant other, close friend or co-worker. It may even be today. What are five things you appreciate about this person? How do they make a difference in your life? On a scale of 1 to 10 how big of deal is what you are upset about? Focus on what you appreciate about that person instead of what you don’t.

When we take time to think about what we appreciate about the other person it changes our focus. When we change our focus we see them in a new light and it changes our perception. When we show appreciation to another person it changes their perception of us as well. It also changes their willingness to help. People are much more willing to go the extra yard if they know they will be appreciated.

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide in my Culture Camps to create a happier healthier and higher performing culture. I utilize appreciation because it has the power to mend and restore relationships. A major focus of my culture camp is to help teams work together better. I was working with a team that was extremely divided. We started the culture camp with an appreciation exercise. This is an exercise I use often when there is drama, hurt feelings or conflict between colleagues. I asked every team member to share with the entire team what they appreciate about each of their coworkers. They were to be very specific including how it was helpful to them. It was amazing to watch the energy shift in the room. Frustration, anger and hurt shifted to receptiveness, willingness and gratification. There are often times tears of relief and hugs of acceptance. Perception is powerful!

 

Last but not least Positivity!

Positivity is the practice of being positive or optimistic in attitude. Positivity is a side effect of appreciation. Whether we are the giver the receiver of appreciation we feel more positive.

When we feel appreciation we feel happy and at peace and no longer feel anger or frustration. We are not wired to entertain both appreciation and negative emotions at the same time. The more we look for opportunities to show appreciation the more we will find and the more positive everyone will feel. It is positive circulation in motion!

In positive psychology research, appreciation is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Appreciation helps people feel more positive emotions, enjoy good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build stronger relationships. Which is why I wrote my book TA-DAH! Get Happy in 5 Seconds or Less. Positivity is powerful!

Another great read for the entire office is “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace” by Gary Chapman. He shares the five ways we feel appreciated. They are verbal, time, help, gifts and touch.

Look for reasons to show appreciation daily and BE the following:

  • Be timely
  • Be specific
  • Be brief
  • BE GENUINE

Start practicing appreciation today! You will be amazed at how simply showing appreciation will cultivate purpose, perception and positivity in your life!