April 2015

Behavior versus Personality Trait!

I have the privilege of helping dental teams nationwide communicate and work together better, become better leaders and deliver service with more passion and fun! A big part of the process is to shed light on the obstacles that get in their way. One of the biggest obstacles people struggle with is the belief that their behavior is their personality…AND they can’t change their personality…it is just who they are!   Therefore, they cannot change!

The dictionary defines personality as the sum total of the physical, mental, emotional, and social characteristics of an individual. Whereas behavior is defined as the aggregate of responses to internal and external stimuli.

Our personality is who we are but does not have to determine our behavior.   Our behavior is a response to what is happening and we can always choose our response.   Once we understand this we are no longer limited by our personality traits.

I was working with a scheduling coordinator, I will refer to as Fran (her name has been changed) who did not exude warm fuzzys to the patients. The doctor and manager wanted a warm and welcoming scheduling coordinator. My first step was to confirm with Fran whether she wanted to be a friendly scheduling coordinator. She said “I do…but how I greet people and answer the phone is just who I am. I can’t be fake!” I reassured her that I did not want her to be fake but instead come from a place of genuine care and warmth. I asked her to think about something or someone she loved. She took a moment and said, “oooohhhh I love my dog!” As she said it her eyes sparkled and she smiled wide. In that moment she was actually beaming warm fuzzys! I said, “That’s it! That’s the energy and emotion that we are looking for!” Fran said, “But I don’t feel that way about the patients. Most of the patients aren’t very friendly to me! I only feel this way about my dog! My dog loves me! AND even if I wanted to I still can’t change my personality! I am not going to be all miss sunshine, rainbows and kittens! It’s just not me!” I told her I didn’t expect her to change her personality to be sunshine, rainbows and kittens. I was just asking her to change her behavior in how she treated the patients. The awesome thing was it was not even a new behavior she had to learn. She had already displayed it talking about her dog. All she had to do was replicate those same behaviors with the patients.

We taped a little picture of her dog where she could quickly glance at it to help her genuinely smile before answering the phone or greeting a patient. Fran was able to make the change once she understood smiling and greeting patients warmly was a learnable behavior not a set personality trait. Funny thing is that when I checked in with her to see how she was doing…she shared that the patients seemed to be a whole lot friendlier to her lately! Hmmm might have something to do with the energy she now radiates! Just saying…it’s the Law of Attraction in action!

Often times we get so wrapped up defending who we are we don’t realize it is our behavior that is in question and not our personality. The next time you are asked to make a change instead of going into defense mode and responding, “I can’t change this is just who I am,” ask yourself the following questions:

• Where have I demonstrated the desired behavior?
• How can I replicate this behavior in this situation?

Once we understand that our behavior is just a response which we can choose to change at any time AND not our personality…We are open to create limitless success!

Contact Judy Kay today if you would like to learn how she can help you build a cohesive team that support each other and the practice, become better leaders, and deliver service with more passion and fun!