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December 1, 2013

Change Your Feelings Change Your Results!

This month’s newsletter is dedicated to the touchy feeling stuff! And it’s big stuff!  Our feelings are what drive our actions and our actions generate our outcome!  

 Something happens, we assign meaning to it, the meaning creates a feeling, the feeling drives a reaction!

 We can change our results when we recognize how our feelings affect our outcome and learn how to control versus be controlled by them! 

Haven’t we all at one time or another reacted to something negatively because of how we felt at the moment and regretted it later.  It can happen to even the best of us.  However, when we continue to allow our feelings to control our reactions we become what I refer to as an emotional reactor.  Emotional reactors allow their feelings instead of their mind to be in the driver seat of their actions!  They often lose control and lash out in volatile explosions of anger, judgment, criticism etc!  They are extremely dangerous and difficult to be around because you never know when they will erupt.  Often times they hurt the ones they love the most.  Their path is strewn with the fallout of damaged and broken relationships.  The good news is we can end the emotional reaction cycle by understanding it and putting our mind back in the driver seat!

The Emotional Reaction Cycle starts when we assign meaning to an experience.  Our reality is based on what we believe to be true about an experience at the time it happens and how we label it.  Our mind filters the world we live in.  Our reality is really just our perception.  A group of people could share an experience and have a different reality based on how they filter the experience.  The two filters that affect our reality most often are Generalization and Distortion. 

Generalization is when something is similar or familiar to a past experience and we assign the same meaning.  It can greatly contribute to limiting beliefs.  For example, all people with blonde hair are not smart.  (Just thought I would throw that in as I am blonde…or at least that is my current color of choice).   Another example is when someone reminds us of someone we know and we either instantly like or dislike them based on the other relationship.  Or we are unwilling to try something because it is similar to something we failed at before.

Distortion is changing an experience from what it actually was to some modified form of what it is.  Distortion happens when you remember a moment of an event as representing the entire thing. Usually it is something negative that over shadows everything else.  For example you receive 10 positive comments and one negative comment from your patients and you focus only on what you are doing wrong.  Or you define your day by the one thing that was difficult versus the 100 things that went well.  Or we define other people only by their mistakes or by one characteristic we dislike. 

Once we realize that our reality is really only our perception of the experience based on our filters we open ourselves up to other possibilities and can change how we feel.   

 The awesome part is it takes less than 60 seconds to change your feelings to change your results!

 Here are 5 steps to help you change how you feel and stop the emotional reaction cycle.   

 The first step is recognizing how you are feeling.  Actually ask yourself; how do I feel right at this moment.  Identify the feeling or emotion by saying I am feeling…frustrated or tired or angry or helpless or afraid or jealous etc. 

The seconds step is to visualize the negative feeling as a little monster sitting on your right shoulder dictating how you should feel.  (My monster looks a lot like the little green mucus guy from the Mucinex commercial.)  Then address your monster and send it packing. I say to my monster “I see you and you have no control over me” and then I physically flick it off my shoulder!  You may have to flick the monster off several times…they are pretty persistent little devils.  Let’s be honest sometimes it feels good to let off steam.  However, a moment of release is never worth hurting someone and even possibly destroying the relationship.  Words do hurt and are very powerful.  Words can destroy relationships even with the people we love the most. 

 The third step is to re-hardwire how you are feeling by not taking things so personal.  Life doesn’t happen to us personally; it just happens.  People behave towards us based on their limiting beliefs of reality.  Yet we often take it as personal.  Have you ever said, “Why does this always have to happen to me?”  It didn’t happen to you…you chose to own it.  It isn’t like the game Dodge Ball where some universal force picks you out of all the people on the rest of the planet and decides to throw something at you!  It may sometimes feel like it but stuff happens and it’s not personal.  There are just a lot of flying balls out there and we occasionally run into one. 

The fourth step is to re-program how we feel.  A physical emotion only lasts 30 seconds.   We extend the emotion when we continue to rehash our feelings over and over.  To change how you feel choose words to describe how you want to feel.  Now it’s time for the physical reset.  Slow down your thinking in order to stop spinning.  Start by taking three deep breaths in and out to become present.  Say out loud the feeling(s) you want to feel.  “I feel happy or I feel at peace!” Now imagine a time when you felt that emotion and immerse yourself in that experience.  Give yourself at least 30 seconds to really enjoy that memory. 

The fifth step and final step is to choose how you want to react.   Ask yourself, “How would I react if I were being my best me or the person I want to become?”  Aristotle said it best when he said “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit.”   How would the person you want to become or the people you admire and respect most behave in this situation! 

Ta-dah!  You have just changed how you feel, how you reacted and your results in less than 60 seconds!

My hope for you moving forward is that whatever may come your way you will come from a place of curiosity instead of judgment and criticism.  Please be careful about what you label things. What we label it is what our reality becomes.  Label the experience or event interesting instead of good, bad, right, wrong, negative or positive.  We really don’t know until we have reached the end of our journey.   It is only than that we can look back and see the outcome and whether it brought us success or failure.  Often times it may feel grueling and difficult short term.  However, it may be just what we needed to shape, change and help us grow and empower us to live our dreams.  Happy feelings to you!

November 1, 2013

Delivering W.O.W. Service!

This month’s is all about delivering W.O.W. Service!  I might as well confess right here right now…I am an acronym addict!  I absolutely love them! W.O.W is an acronym for Weed Out the Weeds!  

Here is why!  I work with General Dentists as well as Specialty Practices (Oral Surgery, Periodontal, Orthodontic, Endodontic, Prosthodontic and Pain Clinics) to help them create an exceptional service culture.  What I have found is once we eliminated the weeds in their practice they were able to deliver WOW Service!  A weed is anything that can make a patient feel uncomfortable or unwelcome or could possibly destroy a relationship.

 Your patients will forget everything except how you made them feel! 

 
In order to create a W.O.W. Service Culture it is important to focus on the patient’s experience. This means one-sided practice focused rules and procedures have to be eliminated. It is necessary for the entire team to be trained on how to deliver W.O.W. Service.  It only takes one untrained person to create a weed experience and lose a patient.  I teach a 3 step process to help my clients Weed Out the Weeds and create a W.O.W. Service Culture.  A team meeting setting works awesome.

  • The first step is for the team to define their ideal service culture! 
  • The next step is to list all the obstacles that may get in the way! 
  • The final step is to discuss service strategies and implement SOPs to overcome the obstacles. 

It is important to remember the reality behind exceptional service.  Service is a triangle.  If you want to deliver exceptional service it usually requires additional time, money or people or all three!  If you are unwilling to invest in the 3 the level of service you deliver will be limited.  

Here are the TOP 10 Service Standards for Delivering W.O.W. Service!

1.  Smile – Seriously…this is the simplest, and the only standard that does not require extra time, money or people and gives the biggest ROI!  Yet I can’t tell you how many people struggle with smiling.  For some it’s like pulling teeth! 

 2.  Slow Down – Yes I know you are trying to be efficient and effective and raise the highest PPH (Production Per Hour) to pay overhead.   When it comes to service…if you don’t take time for your patients…they will go to an office where someone does!  This is one of the biggest complaints patients have regarding service.  How effective and efficient are you if you are losing patients.  Do you know what your monthly net patient count is?  Research shows it costs 6 to7 times more to attain a new patient than it does to retain an existing patient.

 3.  WIIFTP – Always ask yourself when you are interacting with a patient…what’s in it for the patient…how I can serve them best at this moment.

 4.  Own It – Four magic words in service…I CAN HELP YOU!  Even if that means that you reach out for assistance from someone else.  Don’t refer them to someone else.  Because it is YOUR JOB!  Your job is whatever legal, ethical and is within your licensure that will help to create a W.O.W. Patient Experience and help the practice thrive!

 5.  Help Each Other – In other words team work!  It means you ask for help when it could enhance the patient’s experience.  You say yes when someone asks you for help unless you are already with another patient…even if you don’t like that person!  Part of team work means we play well together and work for the greater good.  How ironic that playing well together was expected starting in first grade…even a part of the report card.  Now it often ceases to exist even in the most professional of environments!

 6.  Be Professional – Professional can mean many things to different people.  Leave nothing up to assumptions…Establish guidelines and standards for appearance, communication, attitude, and behavior.   I suggest a team meeting and have the team define the standards.  When the team establishes the guidelines and standards they are much more likely to embrace and own them!

 7.  Protect the Privacy of Patients, Employees and the Company – We are all familiar with HIPAA.  Privacy also means no gossip!  You can stop gossip in your practice if you don’t allow it!  NO…women do not have to gossip!!!  That’s a whole other newsletter! J 

8.  Maintain a Sparkling Clean Environment – You may have a janitorial service to assist at night.  During the day it is everyone’s responsibility to maintain the office.  If your patient sees dirty gauze on the floor they will assume that the office is not clean/sterile.  If they see a messy and coffee stained reception area they will assume the office is not clean/sterile.  If you see it, clean it or pick it up!

9.  Be On Time – I know that you can’t predict everything to be able to schedule every appointment appropriately.  Nor can you just stop working on the patient once their time is up.  Although there are times we may wish we could!  However, if you consistently run behind it is time to evaluate where you run behind and the time you are allowing for those appointments.  If your patient always has to wait it becomes a very big weed that could eventually destroy your relationship.  They will believe that you don’t respect them or their time.   I know of practices where their brand is just being on time and they are thriving because of it!

 10.  Practice – Your patients aren’t test sites, guinea pigs or experiments.    Please practice before you ever take anything out on the floor to try on your patients.  Practice verbal skills, role playing and even the physical walk through.  I can already feel the push back on role playing.  Ick we hate that!!!  If you can’t say it to each other how in the world can you say it to a patient?  You will avoid fields of weeds if you just practice!  In Real Estate the 3 magic words are location, location, location well in delivering W.O.W. Service its practice, practice, practice!

 I ask you to think about what steps you are willing to take to make a difference for your patients.  Implementing Service Standards will help you nurture a W.O.W. Patient Environment!  Bottom line is that no matter how great of a dentist you are…your patients will forget everything except how you made them feel!  The secret is delivering W.O.W. Service!

 Research shows that dentists who build their office environment around the patient’s experience own and dominate the market.

 If you would like help creating your ideal W.O.W. Service Culture please contact me to learn more about my 2 day onsite training “Delivering W.O.W. Service”! 

October 1, 2013

The Cost of Trust

One of the biggest signs of low trust is when the leadership team has difficulty getting the team on board and excited to follow their lead.

Imagine a culture of trust where:

•             Leadership was by example

•             Everyone could rely on each other to work together for the greater good

•             Co-worker’s didn’t question each other’s intent

•             Open communication was the standard

•             Gossip ceased to exist

•             Accountability was self-maintained

•             Honesty was the only policy

Trust is the foundation of a happy, healthy, and high producing culture.   There is a cost to low trust! 

How much more productive would your practice be if your team truly trusted each other?

The dictionary defines trust as instinctive unquestioning belief in and reliance upon something.  The culture of trust I am suggesting is not one of blind faith but instead one of confidence!  Confident trust is based on good reasons, definite evidence or past experience.

 Think about the people in your life that you trust the most.  Why do you trust them?  Confident trust does not just happen overnight.  It takes time to nurture and grow.  However, breaking one’s trust can happen in a heartbeat.  The great news is that building trust is a skill set that can be learned.  Once we can learn how to build trust we can prevent trust breakdowns!

I would start by having a team meeting to talk about the level of trust in your practice.  Discuss the benefits of having a culture of trust.  It is also important for the entire team to understand how much a low level of trust affects the practice and the bottom line.  Such as having to add steps to compensate, extra staff to cover for lack of accountability, and redundant systems and processes.

 Let me give you an example of low trust with patients.  You may have some patients that no show or cancel last minute.  Therefore, you decide to implement the following protocol:  All patients must sign a form that states they will owe $ if they don’t show or cancel last minute unless it is an illness (with a doctor note) or death in the family.   The cost is that now all patients are subjected to a protocol that shows you no longer trust them and makes them feel unwelcome…which could ultimately destroy the relationship resulting in them leaving the practice.  It is an insult to your patients who are responsible and accountable and the ones who are not will just ignore it!  The same holds true with your team.  When you add extra steps for everyone to compensate for the inadequacies of the team members you can’t trust…you may end up losing your good team members.

The next step is to ask the team to share what they feel they need from each other to build trust.  Use a large easel pad and write down all the answers being shared by the team.  Cross out any duplicates.  

Some examples might be:

•             If you have an issue with me talk to me first

•             Help me when you see I need help

•             Finish what you say you are going to do

•             Focus on the greater good instead of WIIFY

•             Tell me the truth but be compassionate

•             Don’t be late or absent for trivial reasons

 Put your list together and label it Trust Culture Guidelines.  Next print it, frame it and put on display for future reference.  It will be important to review whenever you hire someone new or…because old habit die hard; whenever someone’s behavior deems it necessary!

Ta-dah…your team has just established their guidelines on how to build the level of trust in the practice!  The awesome part is that when people create it they own it!

The bottom line is that trust is not just a social virtue it greatly affects your bottom line!

September 1, 2013

The Sunny Side of Life III

I teach my audiences and clients 5 Rays to help them rise above their circumstances and live life on the sunny side!

• Entitlement Expectations
• SPF
• Labeling
• Mindful Talk
• Celebration

Hopefully your July and August were a little happier after reading the past two news letters on Entitlement Expectations, SPF, Labeling and Mindful Talk!
This month we are going to wrap up the Sunny Side series with Celebration!

Ray 5 – Celebration

It’s time to celebrate life, even the little things in life…we take things so seriously…we get so busy…we don’t allow time to celebrate. If we don’t make time to celebrate we will lose our joy for life.

Being present is the first step in celebration! It is important to filter out all the noise from worry and fear and focus on what is actually happening in the present moment. It is only when we are present in the moment that we become aware of all the little things in life worth celebrating.

The next step is to lighten up and have a little fun! Seriously…it’s time we stop taking our self so serious and acting so important. We are but a spec on this planet. Yes I know we are all sooo sooo busy doing whatever it is we are doing that is sooo important for the rest of the world to continue to exist. I think the planet will survive if we take a moment now and again to act silly and have a little fun!

When we are stressed and don’t feel like celebrating; if we change our physiology (body patterns) we can change our psychology. Body patterns are the repeated actions our body reflects when we feel certain emotions. They are how our body speaks to us and therefore have a direct connection to our mood. Some examples of negative body patterns that make us feel stressed are rubbing temples, wringing our hands or a hunched over closed position. Whereas smiling, laughing, or a victory pose (Ta-dah) are positive body patterns that help us feel happier. So if we want to change our mood to be happier all we have to do is change our body pattern and we will feel like celebrating!

Harvard research supports that if we just get happy we will be more:
Successful
Intelligent
Creative
Productive
Healthier

Celebrate by saying a Ta-dah a day and be more successful, intelligent, creative, and productive while keeping the doctor away!

August 1, 2013

the Sunny Side of Life, Part II

I teach my audiences and clients 5 Rays to help them rise above their circumstances and live life on the sunny side!

  • Entitlement Expectations
  • SPF
  • Labeling
  • Mindful Talk
  • Celebration

Hopefully your July was happier after reading last month’s news letter on Entitlement Expectations and SPF!  This month we are going to continue on with Labeling and Mindful Talk!

Ray 3 – Labeling

Words that label have tremendous impact on our attitude and how we feel. We have to be careful about how we label the relationships, events and outcomes we have in life. If we label something as bad it becomes our belief and we manifest feelings and emotions that support the label of bad. I find using the word interesting instead of bad takes away the negative power.

Our beliefs of positive and negative are based on our past experiences. If we do something and we have what we believe to be a negative outcome we will label it as negative. Yet we may have an entirely different outcome if we attempted to do it again. For example, I went on a hot air balloon ride over Napa Valley for my 50th birthday (just a few short years ago). It was serene and wonderful. I am even afraid of heights and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would label it as a very positive experience. However the following day the winds came up unexpectedly and the balloons had a difficult time landing. I may have labeled it as negative had I gone on that day…and most likely would never consider going again. The great news is we can change our belief from negative to positive when we add new experiences that our positive.

Truthfully, how can we label something as good or bad if we don’t know the end? None of us have a crystal ball. So how do we really know if something is good or bad? There have been many things in my life that at the time seemed interesting that actually turned out generating a very positive outcome. Haven’t we all thought or said this is going to be bad at one time or another and yet it turned out to be one the best things to happen to us. 


 

Ray 4 – Mindful Talk

It is imperative that we are mindful of our self talk if we want to live life on the sunny side!  The majority of self talk takes place so quickly and automatically that we don’t even notice we are doing it. Even if you don’t really listen to your chatter, your subconscious mind is listening.  The subconscious mind just accepts everything you tell it, and responds accordingly. 

 Some examples of negative self-talk are:

  • Worry – Fear of what if ???
  • Perfectionism – Not good enough or should haves!
  • Self-Criticism – Compares you to others, with you being the loser.
  • Self-Doubt – Lack of confidence that you can do or achieve your dreams.
  • Being a Victim – You have no control over your circumstances, and you and your life are bad luck!

The awesome news is we can hard wire our brain to start thinking more positively!  When we have mindful talk and actively choose where to focus our thoughts and repeatedly apply it to a wholesome and constructive thought we eliminate the negative deceptive self talk!

July 1, 2013

The Sunny Side of Life

Have you ever thought, “I was in great mood until blank happened?”  When we allow blank (whatever blank is at the moment) to affect how we feel we are in essence relinquishing our power and allowing circumstances to control our emotions.  If we allow our circumstances to control our emotions we become a victim of our circumstances.  The truth is; circumstances don’t dictate how we feel we do!  It is always our choice!

Here are 5 Rays to help you rise above your circumstances and live life on the sunny side!

Entitlement Expectations
SPF
Labeling
Mindful Talk
Celebration

This month we will cover Entitlement Expectations and SPF!

Ray 1 – Entitlement Expectations
Here is where we often lose our positive…we judge our circumstances based on our expectations. I call this judgment “Entitlement Expectations”. What I mean by “Entitlement Expectations” is that we expect a certain relationship, event, thing, or outcome. When our expectations aren’t met we judge our life as less than and get frustrated, angry or disappointed. Haven’t we all felt; this should have happened, or I deserved this or I expected that. These are examples of “Entitlement Expectations”. To avoid “Entitlement Expectations” it is necessary to embrace the following concepts:

Life is uncertain!

Life is unexpected!

Everything is temporary!

No one owes us anything!

There is humor even in difficult situations!

Life can change in a moment!

When we embrace these concepts we learn to stop judging our circumstances as less than regardless of what they are!

Ray 2 – SPF
SPF is an acronym for “Super Positive Focus”! Yes I will confess I am an acronym addict! Regardless of what the circumstances are there is always positive somewhere even in the most negative of situations! You just need to look for it. Developing a “Super Positive Focus” means you look for and focus on the positive even in the darkest of situations. Think about all the tragedies from the storms. One huge positive was all the people helping each other to overcome and survive. You can develop your SPF by forming a habit of identifying what’s positive in every situation. Even if the only thing positive was the lesson you learned to never do it again! You grew from the experience and that is a positive!

Tune in next month to learn more ways to live a life on the sunny side!

June 1, 2013

Code of Conduct

Even the best of us can lose our way in all the noise and hubbub of the day to day stresses! Establishing a Code of Conduct for the practice will help the entire team keep on track…even in stressful situations!

A Code of Conduct is really about thinking before reacting. Behaviorally, that means testing decisions and planned activities for “rightness” before implementing them.

Here are 6 questions to help you create your own code of conduct:

  • Is it legal?
  • Does it align with my values?
  • Will I be comfortable and guilt-free if I do it?
  • Would I do it to my family and friends?
  • Would I perfectly okay with someone doing it to me?
  • Would the most ethical person I know do it?

I suggest a team meeting (3 hours minimal) to establish a Code of Conduct for the practice.  Start the meeting by reviewing the Practice’s Core Values and Vision.  Ask the entire team to share how, when and where they feel the Core Values are not being supported.  Utilize a large easel pad and markers to write down all the concerns being shared.  Discuss the breakdowns that are happening.  What current behaviors support the Core Values?  What current behaviors need changing to support the Core Values?  The behaviors you list that support as well as the necessary changes become your new Code of Conduct!

It is very important for the We Team (leadership team) to be willing to lead by example on whatever is established as the Code of Conduct.

Here are an examples of commitments from a Code of Conduct.

  • Model the waddle you want to see
  • Set and maintain high standards – no double standards
  • Support a no gossip culture
  • Communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully
  • Treat patients and each other how you want to be      treated
  • Resolve conflict by going to the source the same day if      possible
  • Take ownership, follow through, and be accountable for      your mistakes
  • Support each other and hold each other accountable to      the standards of behavior, communication, attitude and service

Having a Code of Conduct will empower the entire team to support the Core Values!

April 1, 2013

Conversation or Conflict?

The real problem is that many of us go through life trying to avoid dealing with conflict out of fear! We hope it will just go away! But the more we try to avoid it the more it builds until eventually it escalates to a point to where there is serious damage to the relationship.  Our success and joy in life depends greatly on our relationships! Life would be so much easier if conflict did not exist. But that isn’t real life!  I invite you to listen to and read this month’s newsletter to learn the 5 easy steps to turn conflict into just a conversation! 

March 1, 2013

Making Decisions that Get Results! How to Soar in 2013!

 Make Decisions that Get Results!

Decisions, decisions, decisions…what to do, when, where, why and how!  Many of us do not like moving outside our comfort zone. We like to feel safe and secure so we resist making decisions. We don’t want to look foolish or fall flat on our faces.  The older we get the more complacent we become.  The problem with complacency is it kills our passion.  It makes us play ourselves small. It clips our wings and keeps us from soaring to new heights.  The decision of whether to play it safe and hang on to what we know and just survive…or take a leap of faith and go after our dreams and try to soar!

The five fundamental phases in the decision making process are choice, assessment, conviction, determination, and result.  So let’s start with Choice because it is the starting point for all our decisions.  Just like Before we can make a decision we need to narrow down our focus to our main priority.  (I invite you to read February’s newsletter if you want to read more about focus.)  What will be your focus for 2013?  Will it be just to continue doing the same things you have always done and play it safe or will it be to take on new things to attempt to soar?  Choosing your focus will determine where you go!

The second phase is Assessment.  Assessing our strengths and where we need to grow to soar will determine when and where we need to focus.

Conviction is the third phase.  Having conviction that we can achieve our goal allows us to try new things and push ourselves to heights we have never been before. 

 Determination is the fourth phase.  If we don’t have determination we will not be be willing to put forth the effort to do the work whenever necessary to implement, maintain and sustain our goal!

The fifth and final phase is Result!  It is important to know what you want your end result to be…otherwise, how will you know when to celebrate your success! 

 It’s your decision!  How high will you soar?

 

February 14, 2013

Stressed, Challenged and Frustrated to Happy, Healthy and Performing’.

Recently, I had the privilege of being interviewed by my friend, Gary Takacs on his awesome Thriving Dentist Show audio podcast.  In this weekly audio podcast, Gary provides specific content on how to develop a thriving dental practice and he often interviews authorities on topics of interest to his audience. The Thriving Dentist Show is the #1 Dental podcast on iTunes and has been downloaded by Dentists in 91 countries! 

I was thrilled to be invited as a guest and Gary and we chose to title the show ‘Go From Stressed, Challenged and Frustrated to Happy, Healthy and Performing’.   

 Here is a link for my interview:    http://bit.ly/XzTZZS

One of the fundamental differences between an OK dental practice and a thriving dental practice is that in thriving dental practices the Dentist and Team Members are happy and they enjoy working together. When the Dentist and Team is happy and functioning as a team, patients can feel it and they have a much better experience. However, a positive practice environment does not happen by itself, it must be developed. 

 If you find the show of value, as many Dentists have, you can subscribe to it on iTunes so you will never miss an episode. Just search for Thriving Dentist Show on iTunes.  It is free!”

 I hope you enjoyed the interview!

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