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June 1, 2017

Wake Up and Be Awesome! Part 3

Wake Up and Be Awesome! Part 3

June 2017

In Wake Up and Be Awesome Part 1 we talked about how a Perceptive Focus can help us to wake up and be awesome! It is crucial to have a clear understanding of what specific actions and attitudes are necessary to help us achieve awesomeness. The more specific we are, the more precise the focus and the better the results.

Part 2 focused on Optimistic Conviction in order to continually strive to be our best in the face of adversity. Throughout our journey, we will encounter dissuasion from naysayers and discouragement from failures. It is the firm belief that we can succeed that will allow us to become all we are capable of being!

Wake Up and Be Awesome Part 3 will focus on the strength of Passionate Perseverance to keep on keeping on striving to be awesome.

I thank my mom, Ione Miller, every day for imparting her strength of passionate perseverance on me. One of her favorite sayings was, “Come hIn the very early stages of my speaking career, I lost a speaking opportunity with a larger organization. After reviewing my video, they rescinded the contract because they believed I could not hold the audience’s attention. They were accurate with their assessment at the time. I was devastated. As hard as it was to hear, it became clear that I needed coaching and a lot of practice if I wanted to be awesome at speaking. So I worked with speaking coaching and then practiced, practiced and practiced even more. My practice audience was an audience of two. Gus, an orange Persian cat and Zoe an energetic seven pound Yorkie. I videotaped each practice presentation in order to critique myself, as I couldn’t count on more than an occasional meow or bark from Gus and Zoe. The next big meeting I was hired to present at was IACA in San Francisco, in the spring of 2009. I think I practiced that speech over 200 times. I was going to make sure I rocked it! Fast forward to 2017, I now have the privilege and honor of being invited to speak and coach nationally and internationally on a regular basis! No, it’s not easy showing up being who we want to be every day…but it is so worth it!

Passionate Perseverance – The dictionary defines Passion as enthusiasm and desire and Perseverance as steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. It is passion that enables us to inspire others to believe in us enough to help us to achieve our dreams. Perseverance is the determination, grit and endurance we need to keep on striving, even when we are weary from battling the noise to settle for normal.

 

 

So, I am going to challenge you to identify and change the limiting beliefs and stories that are stopping you from going after what you want in life, and being who you want to be. The truth is none of us are who we were. We are not even the same person we were yesterday, because we are the accumulation of all our life experiences and they continue to shape, change and help us grow with every breath we take. It’s up to each one of us to decide how we will respond to the events that happen in life.

How exciting that every day – EVERY day, we have the power and the opportunity to wake up and be awesome!

TA-DAH!

May 1, 2017

Wake Up and Be Awesome! Part 2

Wake Up and Be Awesome! Part 2

May 2017

In Wake Up and Be Awesome Part 1 we talked about how a Perceptive Focus can help us to wake up and be awesome! It is crucial to have a clear understanding of what specific actions and attitudes are necessary to help us achieve awesomeness. The more specific we are, the more precise the focus and the better the results.

Wake Up and Be Awesome Part 2 will focus on the strengths of optimistic conviction to become all we are capable of being. We will need optimistic conviction to overcome the naysayers in our world.

Unfortunately, many of us have had the experience of being in the presence of a naysayer. Sometimes the naysayer may even be a close friend or family member. Think of the last time you were excited to challenge yourself to raise the bar. You decided to share the news with someone you trusted only to have your spirits dampened by their discouraging words.

I remember confiding in a close friend when I had decided to write my first book. She informed me that I was not capable of writing a book because my writing skills weren’t good enough. After all, who was I to assume that I could attempt such a feat? She was highly educated, (more highly than I was), and even she wouldn’t consider such a feat. She remarked that even if I did happen to write something how would I possibly edit, publish and print? I am happy to say I did not heed her words. I have written two books since that conversation, Rise & Shine! and TA-DAH! which are going on 2nd and 3rd printings. I am currently pondering topics for a third book. I have a goal of writing at least five books in my lifetime.

We can’t let the naysayers in the world stop us from striving for excellence. Just imagine if we did how different our world would be today. For example, Walt Disney was called a dreamer and was told he couldn’t and shouldn’t attempt his dreams. Disney Land has been thriving since July of 1955, Disney World since October 1971 and between the two, now have over 90,000 visitors per day. Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” Henry Ford went bankrupt twice before he achieved success on his third attempt. Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean in June of 1928. I presume she received a great deal of negative push back on her journey. Imagine how many awesome achievements would have not been accomplished if the strivers of the world allowed discouraging words and fear of failing to stop them.

 

 

Optimistic Conviction – The dictionary defines Optimistic as expecting a favorable view of events or conditions and outcome and Conviction as a fixed or firm belief. We will need an optimistic conviction in order to continually strive to be our best in the face of adversity. Throughout our journey, we will encounter dissuasion from naysayers and discouragement from failures. It is the firm belief that we can succeed that will allow us to become all we are capable of being!

I have had failures in my life. What’s ironic is those failures have often turned out to open new doors and set me up for even greater successes. At the very least, I have grown as a result of those failures. Think about experiences you have had in your past that you labeled as bad, negative or even failures. Did any of those experiences open a new door for you? Maybe you had a difficult move or change in job or even a divorce that was scary and difficult at the time. However, in the end, it allowed you to be free to strive for much more. We really won’t know whether something was a positive or negative in our life until we are ready to take our last breath.

Tune in next month for Wake Up and Be Awesome! Part 3

March 30, 2017

Wake Up and Be Awesome! Part 1

Wake Up and Be Awesome!  Part 1

April 2017

I have the privilege of coaching dental teams nationwide. A recent conversation with a leadership team about their progress since our Culture Camp prompted me to write this article. During our conversation, the doctor made the statement; “It’s not easy showing up being who you want to be every day!” Such a profound and true statement!

Showing up being the person we desire to be isn’t easy! It requires a daily quest to wake up and be awesome! It means not just responding or reacting to circumstances or people based on how we feel in the moment. Instead, it necessitates making mindful choices that support our end goal of becoming the person we strive to be.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people willingly settle for average or status quo in their personal and their professional lives, yet are quick to judge others for wanting to strive for awesomeness. They consider themselves “rational realists”. I refer to them as the naysayers of the world. The word “can’t” is the foundation of their outlook and vocabulary. They often look down their noses with disdain and think of strivers as dreamers who are impractical and unrealistic.

I feel sad for the naysayers of the world. Their negativity is often fueled by a lack of belief in themselves. That negativity stops them from going after what they want in life and from being the most awesome they can be. Therefore, if they can’t or won’t be awesome, someone else shouldn’t or couldn’t possibly be.

 

 

Choosing to continue to strive – to wake up and be awesome every day, takes specific character strengths: The strengths of perceptive focus, optimistic conviction and passionate perseverance to become all we are capable of being. This month we will address Perceptive Focus!

Perceptive Focus – The dictionary defines Perceptive as having or showing keenness of insight, understanding, or intuition, and Focus as a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity. When striving to wake up and be awesome, it is crucial to have a clear understanding of what specific actions and attitudes are necessary to help us achieve awesomeness. The more specific we are, the more precise the focus and the better the results. Once we have defined those qualities, it is imperative to give them our full attention daily.

Let’s say your goal is to be a more positive person. It is too general and vague to just declare that you want to be a more positive person. It is important to define specific actions and attitudes a positive person would exemplify.

For example, you might say that being a more positive person would mean that you:

  • smile at others
  • focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t
  • speak positively of others
  • show appreciation with a genuine compliment
  • practice gratitude by saying thank you more often

I would choose at least three and no more than five actions to practice daily. Now you have a tangible daily action plan you can focus your attention on to help you become a more positive person. You can measure how you did by reviewing your day. Did you smile at everyone you encountered today? Did you focus on what you can do versus what you can’t? Did you speak positively of others? Did you genuinely compliment others? Did you say thank you? Practice your actions daily until they become en-grained into a habit (which takes approximately 66 days). Once an action becomes a habit, add a new action step to your daily routine to continue to raise the bar.

 

Tune in next month for Wake Up and Be Awesome! Part 2

March 1, 2017

C.L.E.A.R. Leadership! (Part 2)

C.L.E.A.R. Leadership! (Part 2)

There are 5 leadership fundamentals that help to clarify leadership. The acronym C.L.E.A.R. exemplifies these 5 fundamentals. This month we will cover the final two C.L.E.A.R. Leadership fundamentals. Please refer to February’s message to review the first three fundamentals.

C – Core Standards

L – Live by Example

E – Empowerment

A – Accountability

R – Results

 

Accountability –   C.L.E.A.R. Leadership is dependent on leaders being responsible and accountable! It means consistently doing what they said, when they said, and how they said they would do it. It means holding everyone equally accountable. No exclusions no exceptions or you divide the team and lose trust. Also no deviations for team members regardless of longevity.  Accountability does not mean telling someone something once. It means delegating clear expectations and following up as needed until completion is confirmed. Accountability means never leaving anything up to assumptions. When we commit to something we hold ourselves accountable to delivering what we promised.

Here is how we often lose trust with accountability. Someone asks us to do a task for them. We take it on and promise to complete by a certain date and time. Usually we think of what is the fastest could we get it done (if everything went perfect) and we commit to that time frame. Walla…life gets in the way and we don’t get it done on time. When we don’t do what we said we would do when we said we would do it we instantly lose trust. I don’t know about you but very seldom does everything go perfect in my life.

I have found it works best to think of what would be the worst case scenario for timing. For example I am often asked to write articles for different Dental Publications. If I know I can have it done in a week if everything goes smooth I will ask if I can have two weeks. In most cases it doesn’t matter to the publisher. I finish and submit my article in 10 days and I look like a super star! The key is to under promise and over deliver. The problem is our society has become just the opposite…over promising and under delivering. Just think about the solicitation and advertising you hear.   How often do you hear ridiculous claims? Do you instantly trust…or have you gotten jaded by so many negative past experiences?

Life happens and sometimes even with our best efforts we can’t fulfill our promises. In order not to damage trust keep people in the loop by communicating in a timely manner what you can do.

 

 

Results – It is important to have an end goal in mind in order to get results. Otherwise, if you don’t know what you want to achieve how do you know when you’ve arrived? It’s very difficult to lead others when they are unsure of the results you desire. Clearly define the results you want to achieve. The more focused the result the clearer the strategy becomes to achieve success. What will make the biggest impact in achieving your desired results?

Establish the why behind the results desired. What are the benefits if the results are achieved and the consequences if they are not? Identifying the why is what gives us the purpose and the perseverance to keep going even when we hit obstacles and meet resistance. It is important for the why to be a value of eight or above on a scale of one to ten. Otherwise, you increase the risk of losing motivation and not succeeding.

Set trackable benchmarks that are challenging and yet achievable. Monitor your progress daily, weekly, monthly etc. depending on the benchmark. When you aren’t achieving a benchmark take time to uncover the specific area(s) of concern. Where do you need to focus more time and energy? What can you start doing or what can you stop doing to make the biggest impact? What specific action steps do you need to take to get the results you desire?

Practice C.L.E.A.R. Leadership and lead in life!

November 1, 2016

Cultivating Accountability in Others!

Let’s face it cultivating accountability in others can seem like a daunting task. Just hearing the word accountability can give the majority of us an ugh feeling.  What usually pops into mind are the words babysitter or micro-manager from past failed attempts at trying to get others to be accountable.

Cultivating accountability in others is worth the effort! – Individual, team and practice performance all dwindle when there is a lack of accountability.  Without accountability, execution suffers.  Our performance deteriorates when we don’t hold ourselves accountable to getting work done well and on time. The more we let things slip the more acceptable it becomes to let them slip again.  A day becomes a week, a week a month and finally not at all.

For example exercising.  We start out committed and then make an excuse that we are to tired, to busy or to something to fit it in that day.  It becomes easier and easier to make excuses until finally we no longer need excuses we just stop exercising.

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October 3, 2016

Constructive Conversation

The words Constructive Criticism always make me cringe. There just doesn’t seem to be anything constructive about criticism. The dictionary defines criticism as the act of passing judgment as to the merits of qualities, values and abilities. I have yet to see where judging someone has helped to promote their further development and advancement or improve outcome. Instead, criticism comes across as judging, condemning or blaming and has negative effects such as employee shut down, lack of confidence and decline in performance. Yet employers and managers continue to utilize constructive criticism to promote employee growth and change. They continue to do so because of misconceptions about effectiveness and not out of maliciousness.

It’s time to transform the criticism part into a constructive conversation. A constructive conversation includes the following fundamentals and has two role players. The two role players are the Approacher and Approachee. The Approacher is the person conveying and enquiring and the Approachee is the person receiving and responding.

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June 30, 2016

Cultivating a Culture by Design

Cultivating a Culture by Design!

July 2016

From the moment we step across the office threshold we become a part of the culture!  The dictionary defines culture as a way of life of a group of people–the behaviors, beliefs, values, and symbols that they accept, generally without thinking about them, and that are passed along by communication and behaviors. Every office culture is unique based on the culture they designed or allowed to happen by default. What we do and even what we don’t do creates our culture. If we aren’t cultivating a culture by design we will reap a culture by default.

I chose to use the word cultivate because of my farm upbringing and because it is a great analogy for how I work with teams. Cultivators are designed to disrupt the soil in careful patterns, sparing the crop plants but disrupting the weeds. Similarly I help teams cultivate their culture by maintaining what is good and positive while weeding out the weeds (adverse and negative). I am a culture cultivator! The focus of this message is cultivating a culture by design and references an article, “Five Performance and Accountability Standards to Help Your Team Soar,” that I wrote for the ADA’s 2015 book, “The ADA Practical Guide to Leading and Managing the Dental Team”.

Take a moment and think about your current office culture. Is there any drama, disorder or performance decline? Do any of the following team members and behaviors sound familiar?

The Drama Lover

Kelly makes mountains out of mole hills. Any schedule changes result in meltdowns. If Kelly is missing an instrument from her cassette, instead of just going and replacing it, she wastes time complaining to everyone. She often gossips about one co-worker to another. Kelly believes life doesn’t just happen, it happens to her! She always complains, whines, and criticizes co-workers, patients, family and, for that matter, anyone who crosses her path. Her ongoing drama lowers team morale and distracts everyone from focusing on the patients and the practice.

The Chaos Creator

Sam’s life is always in disarray. He’s almost always late and has an excuse. He overslept because the alarm clock stopped working and he didn’t have time to replace it. Or he didn’t allow adequate drive time because he didn’t check the weather or traffic. Or he was late dropping off the kids at school. Sam’s desk is a disaster, and he can’t find any of the charts or paperwork he needs when he needs them. He’s never prepared for meetings, and is always rushing around, stressed from trying to catch up. The team can no longer rely on him to do his job, and have lost trust and respect for him.

The Checked-out Employee

Georgia has been with the practice for 25 plus years. She was an exceptional employee the first 15 years, but her performance has been in a steady decline for the past ten. Georgia challenges any new ideas and refuses to adopt any change in standards or services. She often has an attitude of entitlement where she feels she deserves special treatment because of her longevity with the practice. She proudly describes herself as direct which really means she lacks a kindness/respect filter. What I refer to as cutting off at the knees. (If you cut someone off at the knees, you humiliate them, bully or force them to do what you want.) This makes others afraid to approach her. She may refuse to attend team functions, morning huddles or team meetings, and refuses to put in extra time in a crunch or do what she considers menial tasks. Her attitude and behavior affects the entire team’s performance level. The team starts to question why they have to adhere to standards if Georgia doesn’t.

If you recognize any of these employees or their poor behaviors…BREATHE…you’re not alone. Many offices struggle with undesirable behaviors – they are often unsure of what to do and don’t comprehend the toxic impact these behaviors can have on a practice. They affect communication, treatment acceptance, team work, work day enjoyment, stress levels, happiness, and more. Patient experience, team performance and the practice bottom line plummet. These behaviors are triggered and escalate from unclear and inconsistent expectations due to lack of culture standards.

Culture standards help eliminate the drama of who is right or wrong and get everyone rowing at a higher level on the same boat. Culture standards create clarity and structure. When there is clarity and structure the drama and confusion that often divides a team disappears. The opposite is true when there aren’t clear culture standards, assumptions, false expectations and differences of opinions run rampant. Every team member comes from a different background with unique and individual experiences. What they believe to be true is shaped by their personal experiences. These experiences create their personal truths, which is how they judge what is right and wrong. Drama, disorder and declining performance surface when there are different expectations of right and wrong due to lack of culture standards.

Have a team meeting to discuss what culture standards the team would like in their work environment. In essence, what will be the code of conduct for the practice? Create the standards together. Creating standards to work by creates clarity and helps the team to be accountable to a specific level of attitude, behavior and communication; the ABC’s of teamwork and performance.

Here are questions to ask the team that will help them create culture standards for the practice pertaining to attitude, behavior, and communication:

  • What makes them happy that they want to see more of – list it as a to do
  • What stresses them that they would like to stop – list what you can do to stop it – for example instead of stop gossiping, use support a gossip free culture
  • What can they do to impact their co-workers and patients in a more positive manner
  • How do they want the team to show up for work every day
  • How can they support each other more
  • How can they communicate more clearly, timely and positively with the team and patients

Once you have completed the culture standards list, print it, frame it and put it on display in your meeting room or wherever the team will see it most often. Review it at your team huddles and meetings, whenever you hire someone new and whenever someone’s behavior deems it necessary. It is important and necessary for the entire team including the doctor(s)to make a commitment to live and maintain the culture standards even when it is difficult or they don’t feel like it. If a team member chooses to not support the culture standards they are choosing to no longer be a part of that culture.

Cultivating a culture by design takes a commitment from the entire team to support and hold each other accountable to the culture standards!

June 1, 2016

4 Steps to Nurture a No-Gossip Culture!

4 Steps to Nurture a No-gossip Culture!

Gossip is a destructive monster that runs rampant in many dental teams! It has become the accepted and even expected as just the norm for many dental cultures! I speak nationally and internationally to dental teams on how to nurture a no-gossip culture.  When I ask them who has gossip in their practice I usually see every hand raise. The reasons I most often receive are:

  • It just is a part of every culture
  • It is a natural thing that women just do
  • It is a form of entertainment
  • It is healthy to vent or blow off steam to relieve stress
  • It is a way to get feedback and support
  • It is a lack of what it really means to gossip

People who engage in workplace gossip often have a strong need to “fit in”, and feel that gossip will help them achieve this. Gossipers often suffer from low self-esteem, and think that talking negatively about others will make them look better. If we truly grasped the devastating fallout from gossip we would no longer accept it as the norm for any culture!

Gossip affects:

  • Patient care and experience
  • Team communication, performance and relationships
  • Practice performance
  • Morale
  • Trust
  • Respect

Needless to say, gossip tremendously impacts the bottom line. I refer to gossip as the Poison Triangle of Mistrust because it often involves two people talking about a third person. Nothing shreds trust and respect and divides a team faster than gossip. Haven’t we all overheard someone talking about us? Do you remember how you felt? How much did you trust the people who were talking about you? How much did you want to communicate or work with them? Gossip is the most divisive form of communication. Just think about the total cost in team and practice performance, team relationships, practice morale and patient experience.

How much more successful could your practice be if could stop gossip from happening? Nurturing a no-gossip culture raises trust and the morale instantly it also elevates communication, team performance and relationships, patient experience and the bottom line! This is big stuff and plenty of reasons to adopt a no-gossip culture! If we want to nurture a no-gossip culture we have to clearly define gossip; set standards to prevent and stop gossip; and establish consequences if gossip continues. So if you are ready to nurture a no-gossip culture continue reading!

Let’s start by dispelling the misconceptions and clearly defining what gossip really is! The sad truth is gossip happens because it is often thought of as fluff stuff and something women just do! “Women do not have to gossip!” BTW women aren’t the only ones who gossip…men gossip too. In fact research shows men outnumber women who gossip by two to one. Men just refer to gossip as venting or blowing off steam!

Which leads me to address the term venting and blowing off steam. Anytime we say something negative or very private about another person it is gossip. We have this false belief that venting or blowing off steam is helpful and healthy. It is neither. Venting or blowing off steam are just more acceptable labels for gossip. Whether you refer to it as venting, blowing off steam or gossip they are equally toxic. When we spew negative words about others we not only bring down the receiver (listener); the giver (spewer) is also affected negatively. Consistent negative thoughts, words or energy whether we are the giver or the receiver or even just in the vicinity changes electricity in our brain which changes the energy in our body and our organs that depend on that energy or no longer nourished and can get disease and sometimes even die. Gossip is just plain toxic to everyone!

Doctors and managers be mindful of sharing a short retort of frustration or discontent with a team member pertaining to another team member. It is gossip, regardless of how harmless it may seem at the moment. How would that person feel if they heard you say it? If you have a frustration or concern go to the source and no one else. Otherwise, you have done nothing to address the problem and it will only continue to grow. The only exception is when the doctor and manger discuss with each other (behind closed doors) how to resolve a behavior or performance concern regarding another employee.

Here are four steps to nurture a no-gossip culture!

Have a with a team meeting and ask the entire team attend. The first step is to define gossip. Establish the definition of gossip for the practice as anything that is negative about another person that would make us think less of them; or private that they do not want others to know. We may think venting or blowing off steam is okay and is not considered gossip. Good qualifiers to ask yourself are:

  • Is what I am about to say true?
  • Is it harmful or hurtful?
  • How would I feel if someone said something similar about me?
  • How am I going to feel later if I say this? (or listen to this)
  • Would it affect their level of trust and respect for me?
  • Does gossiping honor my own personal values?

Clearly define the giver and receiver roles in gossip. The receiver (listener) of gossip is just as responsible as the gossiper (giver). They play a fifty-fifty role. The receiver has the power to stop the gossiper from gossiping to them. In fact the receiver may even play a bigger role. The receiver is usually not at a heightened emotional state and therefore capable of thinking more clearly. Whereas the giver is usually at a heightened emotional state; the fight or flight zone, resulting in the cognitive part of the brain shutting down.

The second step is for the entire team to verbally commit to each other to support a no-gossip culture in words, attitude and actions. Which means they commit to stop gossiping and stop gossipers. Have the team agree on a word or a phrase that they will say if someone starts gossiping to them.   Some of my clients use the word peace (in other words keep the peace) or stop or please go to the source or even remember we said we weren’t going to gossip. It can be anything as long as everyone knows the specific words or phrases.

The third step is to actually take action! If you have a suggestion, question or concern go directly to the source instead of going to others. Say the word or phrase immediately when someone starts gossiping. It is also our responsibility to try to stop gossip even if we just happen to be in a location where several other people are gossiping. In a respectful manner ask them to stop by using the word or phrase and if necessary reinforce how toxic gossip is to the team and the practice. Old habits die hard so it will be necessary for the team to support each other with reminders that they committed to honor a no-gossip culture.

The fourth step is create clear consequences for gossip. I want to be very clear here regarding consequences. Consequences aren’t necessary if a simple reminder from a co-worker stops the gossip. It is only when the gossiper refuses to stop gossiping when they have been asked to stop that it leads to any consequences. It is important to have defined consequences for gossip just like any other culture standard. Spell out specific step-by-step process for number of verbal and written warnings before termination. Yes, gossip is a big enough reason to terminate! The bottom line is that when we support a no-gossip culture we raise the level of communication, team performance and relationships, patient experience and even the bottom line!

Contact Judy Kay at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net today if you would like to learn how she can help you build a cohesive team that support each other and the practice, become better leaders, and deliver service with more passion!

March 1, 2016

How to Prevent 3 Communication Pitfalls!

Our level of success in life is in direct relationship to how successfully we communicate. Communication can often be difficult and sometimes very frustrating. When we don’t say anything, an assumption is made – and in most cases, it’s negative. If we do say something, it may be perceived incorrectly. If that is not enough, there are all the “shoulds” from others – their comparison expectations on how we should do something, or be something or live our life a certain way. In other words, their way!

Because of assumptions, perceptions and comparison expectations we often make commitments to either do things we don’t want to do or don’t have time to do. Just writing this makes me feel exhausted! Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to worry about communicating? But that is not reality.

Our success in life depends on our ability to communicate. Therefore, it is necessary to learn how to communicate and overcome these pitfalls regardless of how frustrating or difficult they may be. I have found from years of coaching dental teams nationwide that the best way to get good at something is to remove or overcome the obstacles.

Let’s start with assumptions. This one is a biggy! We make assumptions every minute of every day. Something happens and we instantly assign meaning to it. It may be correct or it may be incorrect. We won’t know unless we take the next step. That step is asking. Sounds easy but it’s not. We often fear that if we ask, we may open ourselves up to an emotional reaction. We can’t let fear stop us from asking. We don’t know what someone meant by their actions or words or the way they said something. Sometimes even what they say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean. Ask with care, concern and respect. Continue to respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s true intent. If you are still thinking “I think they meant…”, you are assuming and it is important ask more questions to achieve a clear understanding.

Perceptions are just as dangerous as assumptions. Both the person speaking and the person listening play a role in perceptions. I often hear team members say, “I didn’t mean it that way! They just took it wrong! So it’s not my fault!” If you are always being misunderstood, it is important to reflect on how you are communicating. It is not just what you say that counts in communication. It is also how the message is being perceived. The listener often bases their perception on their past experiences they had with you as well as your words, body language and tone of voice. They often assign meaning based on what it would mean if they said or did that same thing, which in many cases does not accurately reflect the other person’s intent. Inaccurate perceptions also happen when we don’t hear the entire story or all the reasons or steps. It is important to take the time to clearly explain your intent to avoid false perceptions.

Comparison Expectations create negative expectations! They are the “shoulds” that guilt us into doing things we aren’t comfortable doing or feeling terrible about ourselves when we don’t. We have all heard and even said, “You should….!” Comparison Expectations happen when we compare ourselves to others…or when others compare us to them. The comparison is what creates the expectations for who, what, when where, why and how we should do something based on what others do. Comparing is toxic; someone always loses. We may even believe that others are wrong when they don’t do something our way. Comparison expectations can make us feel or do something out of guilt. Guilt creates shame and shame inhibits communication because if we feel shameful about something, we are less likely to communicate openly and honestly. Stop the comparison noise! Quit allowing the “shoulds” from yourself and others to dictate your actions AND quit expecting others to do things your way. Instead together as a team create clear standards and support them!

(If you would like to receive the white pages for Team Communication Guidelines please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and write Team Communication Guidelines in the subject line.)

Our success in life will depend greatly on how well we communicate in our personal and professional lives. Communicate clearly, ask questions to avoid false assumptions and perceptions and for goodness sake…stop “shouldng” on each other!

February 1, 2016

The ABC’s of Working Together Better!

The ABC’s of Working Together Better!

Many dental teams struggle with drama, conflict, gossip, negative attitudes, low morale and poor communication. In most cases, it is not because they are a bad team. They have just become confused and lost their way resulting from having different expectations. All of us come from such different backgrounds with unique and individual experiences. Therefore, what we believe is appropriate or inappropriate, and right or wrong, is skewed by our personal experiences. Our personal experiences create our personal truths. I refer to it as the acronym B.O.A.T. – beliefs, opinions and assumptions equal our truths. Our B.O.A.T. determines how we act, respond, view and judge each other.

I still have my report card from when I was in the second grade. We actually had a section where we were graded on our conduct. It was broken down into the following sections; observes school regulations, works and plays well with others, respect for property, respect for authority, is courteous in speech and manner. S was for satisfactory U was for unsatisfactory. Thankfully I received all S’s!

It seems as if conduct is no longer a part of the discussion when it comes to expectations for employee performance. In fact, employees often believe that it is the Doctor or Practice Administrator’s responsibility to make everyone get along and behave. When the truth of it is it is each team member’s responsibility to work and play well with their coworkers.
I love to help dental teams nationwide work together better! After years of working with many teams, I have found the best way get everyone to working together better is to create clear expectations for Attitude, Behavior and Communication! What I refer to as the ABC Standards.

Creating ABC Standards will help cultivate a culture that is happier, healthier and higher performing! ABC Standards increase clarity, unity, congruency, level of service, and your business reputation; while preventing the chafing and disagreements from assumptions and opinions of who is right and wrong.

I have often asked my audiences to raise their hand if they have established standards or guidelines for their team’s performance regarding attitude, behavior and communication. Two hands were the most I have ever seen raised in any audience at any one time and some of my audiences have been 800 plus people. We just expect that everyone should know what is appropriate and what is not and what is the right way or wrong way. Without realizing it we set ourselves up for failure when we don’t have clear standards.

Have a team meeting with the entire team to discuss ABC Standards for your practice. Ask each team member to share what they feel they need from each other to be able to work together better. I find using a big easel pad with markers to write down the responses helps to generate more participation. Be specific and define what it means in words, actions, body language and tone of voice. Some examples might be:

Be Likeable
Be courteous
Be nice
Be happy
Believe in Positive Intent
Be Honest
Be Compassionate
Be Trustworthy
Have an Ownership Mentality
Be helpful
No gossip
Lead by Example
Be Reliable
Be Appreciative
Be Fun

(If you would like to receive my ABC’s Sample Standards please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and write ABC’s Sample in the subject line.)
Take your team’s responses and put them together to create your ABC’s Standards Document. Print it out, frame it and put it on display wherever one can see it daily. A lunch room or locker room often works well. Your daily huddle is a great opportunity to create accountability. Ask each team member to share at the huddle how they did the previous day as an individual and as a team supporting the standards. Where did they rock it and where did they fall short and need to grow? The more you discuss your standards on a daily basis the more real and alive they become.

It is important for the entire team to know that there will be consequences and what they will be for not supporting your ABC Standards. The consequences are to be across the board for entire team. No exclusions and no exceptions regardless of a team member’s longevity, skillsets, etc. or you sabotage the culture and divide the team.

Establishing clear and consistent consequences will clarify to the team what they can expect if they choose not to support the ABC Standards. Doctors and Practice Administrators may feel bad or stressed when they have to follow thru with the consequences. Here is the bottom line; the team member chose their consequences when they chose their behavior.
I ask the teams I coach to come up with what they feel are fair consequences for not supporting the ABC Standards. The following four-step process is suggested by most teams.

1. Conversation between team member and source.
2. Verbal warning from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).
3. Written warning from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).
4. Termination from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).

The refreshing part is that in most cases it will not be necessary to enact any consequences when the team sees how awesome it is to work together better!
TA-DAH! And they all worked happily ever after! Thee End!

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