4 Steps to Nurture a No-gossip Culture!

Gossip is a destructive monster that runs rampant in many dental teams! It has become the accepted and even expected as just the norm for many dental cultures! I speak nationally and internationally to dental teams on how to nurture a no-gossip culture.  When I ask them who has gossip in their practice I usually see every hand raise. The reasons I most often receive are:

• It just is a part of every culture
• It is a natural thing that women just do
• It is a form of entertainment
• It is healthy to vent or blow off steam to relieve stress
• It is a way to get feedback and support
• It is a lack of what it really means to gossip

People who engage in workplace gossip often have a strong need to “fit in”, and feel that gossip will help them achieve this. Gossipers often suffer from low self-esteem, and think that talking negatively about others will make them look better. If we truly grasped the devastating fallout from gossip we would no longer accept it as the norm for any culture!

Gossip affects:

• Patient care and experience
• Team communication, performance and relationships
• Practice performance
• Morale
• Trust
• Respect

Needless to say, gossip tremendously impacts the bottom line. I refer to gossip as the Poison Triangle of Mistrust because it often involves two people talking about a third person. Nothing shreds trust and respect and divides a team faster than gossip. Haven’t we all overheard someone talking about us? Do you remember how you felt? How much did you trust the people who were talking about you? How much did you want to communicate or work with them? Gossip is the most divisive form of communication. Just think about the total cost in team and practice performance, team relationships, practice morale and patient experience.

How much more successful could your practice be if could stop gossip from happening? Nurturing a no-gossip culture raises trust and the morale instantly it also elevates communication, team performance and relationships, patient experience and the bottom line! This is big stuff and plenty of reasons to adopt a no-gossip culture! If we want to nurture a no-gossip culture we have to clearly define gossip; set standards to prevent and stop gossip; and establish consequences if gossip continues. So if you are ready to nurture a no-gossip culture continue reading!

Let’s start by dispelling the misconceptions and clearly defining what gossip really is! The sad truth is gossip happens because it is often thought of as fluff stuff and something women just do! “Women do not have to gossip!” BTW women aren’t the only ones who gossip…men gossip too. In fact research shows men outnumber women who gossip by two to one. Men just refer to gossip as venting or blowing off steam!

Which leads me to address the term venting and blowing off steam. Anytime we say something negative or very private about another person it is gossip. We have this false belief that venting or blowing off steam is helpful and healthy. It is neither. Venting or blowing off steam are just more acceptable labels for gossip. Whether you refer to it as venting, blowing off steam or gossip they are equally toxic. When we spew negative words about others we not only bring down the receiver (listener); the giver (spewer) is also affected negatively. Consistent negative thoughts, words or energy whether we are the giver or the receiver or even just in the vicinity changes electricity in our brain which changes the energy in our body and our organs that depend on that energy or no longer nourished and can get disease and sometimes even die. Gossip is just plain toxic to everyone!

Doctors and managers be mindful of sharing a short retort of frustration or discontent with a team member pertaining to another team member. It is gossip, regardless of how harmless it may seem at the moment. How would that person feel if they heard you say it? If you have a frustration or concern go to the source and no one else. Otherwise, you have done nothing to address the problem and it will only continue to grow. The only exception is when the doctor and manger discuss with each other (behind closed doors) how to resolve a behavior or performance concern regarding another employee.

Here are four steps to nurture a no-gossip culture!

Have a with a team meeting and ask the entire team attend. The first step is to define gossip. Establish the definition of gossip for the practice as anything that is negative about another person that would make us think less of them; or private that they do not want others to know. We may think venting or blowing off steam is okay and is not considered gossip. Good qualifiers to ask yourself are:

• Is what I am about to say true?
• Is it harmful or hurtful?
• How would I feel if someone said something similar about me?
• How am I going to feel later if I say this? (or listen to this)
• Would it affect their level of trust and respect for me?
• Does gossiping honor my own personal values?

Clearly define the giver and receiver roles in gossip. The receiver (listener) of gossip is just as responsible as the gossiper (giver). They play a fifty-fifty role. The receiver has the power to stop the gossiper from gossiping to them. In fact the receiver may even play a bigger role. The receiver is usually not at a heightened emotional state and therefore capable of thinking more clearly. Whereas the giver is usually at a heightened emotional state; the fight or flight zone, resulting in the cognitive part of the brain shutting down.

The second step is for the entire team to verbally commit to each other to support a no-gossip culture in words, attitude and actions. Which means they commit to stop gossiping and stop gossipers. Have the team agree on a word or a phrase that they will say if someone starts gossiping to them.   Some of my clients use the word peace (in other words keep the peace) or stop or please go to the source or even remember we said we weren’t going to gossip. It can be anything as long as everyone knows the specific words or phrases.

The third step is to actually take action! If you have a suggestion, question or concern go directly to the source instead of going to others. Say the word or phrase immediately when someone starts gossiping. It is also our responsibility to try to stop gossip even if we just happen to be in a location where several other people are gossiping. In a respectful manner ask them to stop by using the word or phrase and if necessary reinforce how toxic gossip is to the team and the practice. Old habits die hard so it will be necessary for the team to support each other with reminders that they committed to honor a no-gossip culture.

The fourth step is create clear consequences for gossip. I want to be very clear here regarding consequences. Consequences aren’t necessary if a simple reminder from a co-worker stops the gossip. It is only when the gossiper refuses to stop gossiping when they have been asked to stop that it leads to any consequences. It is important to have defined consequences for gossip just like any other culture standard. Spell out specific step-by-step process for number of verbal and written warnings before termination. Yes, gossip is a big enough reason to terminate! The bottom line is that when we support a no-gossip culture we raise the level of communication, team performance and relationships, patient experience and even the bottom line!

Contact Judy Kay at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net today if you would like to learn how she can help you build a cohesive team that support each other and the practice, become better leaders, and deliver service with more passion!