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October 1, 2018

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 2

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 2

In Part 1 we talked about how confidence can help us be our authentic self. When we are confident we are free to choose who we want to be. We stop worrying about what others think and stop relying on others for affirmation.

This message is focused on how the power of perseverance and commitment can help us to achieve authentic success.

Perseverance is what helps us keep going when the going gets tough. I am an overnight success. LOL that is if you call 12 years overnight. I am blessed to have inherited my mom’s perseverance to succeed. You could often hear her say; “Come hell or high water this is happening!” Trust me it did. We never doubted whether mom would get the job done even against insurmountable odds.

I started my coaching business August 1, 2006. The next six months I visited over 200 dental offices in Minnesota to introduce my coaching services only to receive a resounding NO response. My awesome husband, Steve continued to cheer me on even though his heart was breaking for me. I finally started to get a tiny bit of interest but not enough to really stay afloat. One of my closest friends suggested I stop wasting my time and get a real job. (FYI she is no longer in my life). Her words were a challenge like waving a red flag in front of bull. Growing up on a farm in North Dakota we learned you pulled yourself up by your own boot straps. I had tried to do it all on my own and finally realized I needed some help. Two dental industry giants, Lois Banta and Linda Miles were there to lift me up. I attended my first SCN (Speaking Consulting Network) Meeting June of 2007 and haven’t looked back since. (www.speakingconsultingnetwork.com) I am forever grateful for their mentoring and support and I am honored to call them good friends.

Many of us have had someone during our life time help lift us up. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Develop strong relationships with others who have complementary skills to help you succeed. Perseverance doesn’t mean we have to do it all on our own. Perseverance means we do what we need to do to succeed. Let me clarify; as long as it is legal, ethical and done with integrity! These fundamentals are a given and expected yet we often see just the opposite. “Success is the ability to lay your head on your pillow at night with your integrity uncompromised!” Here are some reminders of dos and don’ts.

  • Do what you said when you said you would do it
  • Don’t claim you are someone you are not
  • Don’t step on someone else to step up
  • Don’t plagiarize from others
  • Don’t be vague and misleading
  • Don’t do something you know is wrong and think it is okay as long as you apologize later

Commitment is the third component to achieving authentic success! It takes commitment to daily action steps to achieve the results we desire. Remember to avoid O.C.D. …over committer’s disorder. Be realistic about what you can commit to doing consistently. Consistency is the key. Something you do occasionally will never be sustainable. In order for us to sustain something it needs to become a habit. The average habit takes 66 days of precise and consistent practice. Once something becomes a habit we don’t even think about it we just do it. My good friend Dr. Uche Odiatu simplifies how to consistently eat healthy and exercise. He has created a 7 minute exercise routine to help those who don’t exercise at all get started. Don’t forget to celebrate each step of the way. The joy happens during the journey!

Here are some steps to help you shine!

  • Define your 4 core values.
    • Make sure they are what you are enthusiastic about, and not someone else’s dream.
    • Share your core values with others.
  • Clarify your goals and objectives for the year.
    • Know your strengths and the areas you need to grow.
    • Embrace daily habits that help you achieve your goals.
  • Surround yourself with people who inspire you.
    • Develop strong relationships with others who have complementary skills to help you succeed
    • Focus on what you can do to lift others.
  • Don’t compromise your core values, your health, or your family.
    • Challenge yourself to do difficult things to help you grow.
    • Do only what is legal, ethical and with integrity.
  • Enjoy the journey as much as the final destination.
    • Be grateful for what is and celebrate even the small things daily.

Every day we have the opportunity to show up authentic and be our best us, we can be. Every day we have the opportunity to shine. Every day we have the opportunity to serve and impact others in a positive way to help lift them up to shine. When we do we achieve authentic success! TA-DAH!

 

August 30, 2018

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 1

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 1

 

It seems as if the Universe has been nudging me to write this message. I have been witnessing and extraordinary amount of people being fake by pretending to be who they are not. Just turn on the T.V. and listen to the news. It’s becoming the norm in every industry. So many people talking the talk but not walking the walk. It is not our words but our actions that speak our truth. Thankfully there are still those who choose to live an authentic life.

I love the quote by Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

The intent may not be to deceive others. It can unintentionally happen when we have not taken the time to explore and know our true self. The fear of what others may think and the desire to fit in also pushes many to be less than authentic.

While sadly to say there are others who intentionally mask who they are and become a chameleon to get what they want. These behaviors are dangerous whether they are intentional or not. They don’t merely hide but transform who we are. We become who we impersonate.

This message is focused on showing up our best authentic us in an often times artificial world. “Today is a great day to show your shine!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf. This quote reflects the core of my belief system and is the compass of my life. It is my mantra for serving others in this day, not waiting until the opportunity which may never come again.

Do you have a quote or statement that reflects your core belief system, your compass in life, your mantra for serving others? If not, what would you like it to be? As important as it is to have a business vision statement, it is even more important to define personal core values. It is key to limit it to a few core words or it dilutes clarity. What four core words in order of priority would you choose? Having core value words will help guide us in our decision and actions. They will help us show up to shine every day. For example my four core words in order of priority; lifter, authentic, happy and committed.

  • Lifter – lift others up to shine
  • Authentic – be true to who I am
  • Happy – be present, grateful and celebrate life’s gifts
  • Committed – perseverance to continue to succeed in when difficult

In life things don’t always go our way and people can be interesting. Interesting is a great way to describe difficult personalities and behaviors. Having four core words helps us to be who we want to be even when our emotions would lead us astray. I heard a powerful quote from Fred Joyal during a recent interview webinar discussing culture.   “The gap between reaction and response is wisdom!” Our response will support who we choose to be when we take time to think before we react.

Maybe some of you aren’t necessarily thrilled with the role you are playing in your life right now. It is never too late. You can change how you live your life starting today. In every breath we take we have the opportunity to continue to grow and become the person we choose to be. Day dream for a moment. Imagine, what would your life look like if you were your best you? What core values would you add or change? What would you start doing and what would you stop doing? What daily action steps would you need to take to support those values?

It takes confidence, perseverance and commitment to show up and be our best us. Confidence, perseverance and commitment are what separate the people who talk-the-talk from those who walk-the-walk. All three are vital to achieving authentic success!

Let’s start with confidence. The more confidence we have in our self, the less likely we are to sway in our beliefs and give in to the noise from others.   Real confidence comes from knowing who we want to be and accepting our self…our strengths and overcoming our limitations…in contrast to depending on affirmation of others.

I remember when I was starting my business, Practice Solutions Inc. in 2006. I had advice on what the best, proper, or the only way to do things. I realized quickly I had to decide what the core values of my coaching/speaking business would be to avoid having my business philosophy change daily on the whims and beliefs of others. Much of the advice I received focused on monitoring numbers and the bottom line. What rang true to me was to not focus on the bottom line. Instead I chose to focus on happy and healthy doctor, team, and patient relationships built on trust and respect. A healthy sustainable bottom line would be the result not the focus. Yes, it would still be important to know, understand and monitor numbers, systems, and protocols to know the health of the practice.   However, the practice’s success would come from the change in mindsets, attitude, and communication resulting in happier, healthier, higher performing culture.

It’s time we stop worrying about what others think. The truth is we are so busy worrying about ourselves we don’t spend more than a few seconds worrying about others. Do you even remember what the headlines in the news were yesterday? If you are like most you don’t…and it was the headlines. We have been given the gift a life. What a shame it would be to waste our life being someone we are not.

People are drawn to people who are confident in being real. It’s time to be authentic and show our quirky and unique nuances to the world. Our sense of people’s authenticity has an enormous impact on how much we trust them, how comfortable we are with them, and how willing we are to follow them. Sharing our authentic self is a vital, essential piece to becoming true to our self and our core beliefs. When we share who we really are and what we are passionate about, our message comes across loud and clear and rings true!

Tune into Part 2 to read about the power of perseverance and commitment to achieve authentic success!

August 3, 2018

The Power of Appreciation!

The Power Appreciation!

Appreciation is a fundamental human need yet is often considered an unnecessary nicety. Niceties like please, thank you, that was awesome, and I appreciate you. After all why should we have to interrupt our busy day to tell someone else we appreciate them? Aren’t they just being needy? Doesn’t that show a lack of confidence on their part if they need constant reinforcement? They should know that they are appreciated without having to have a pat on the back. Wrong! That little pat on the back is so powerful that 64% of Americans leave their job because of lack of it.

So what is so powerful about appreciation? Appreciation gives us purpose! Appreciation changes perceptions! Appreciation emits positivity! We all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments. It’s important for us to know that we truly make a difference.

 

Let’s start with Purpose.

Appreciation expressed through acknowledgement of our good work confirms our work is valued. When our work is valued, our satisfaction and performance rises and we feel purpose. Feeling genuinely appreciated makes us feel secure, which is what empowers us to do our best work. If a person takes the time to express their heart-felt appreciation for something we have done, it makes us feel good about what we do. It builds our self-confidence, self-esteem and our entire self-image. It gives us energy and motivation to work harder and do more.

Appreciation put simply is positive feedback. We all want to know whether our employers think we are doing well. Positive feedback is their confirmation. When we aren’t given positive feedback it seems as if they don’t notice, care or value our contribution. Instead we may only hear when we are doing something wrong. A healthy ratio is three positives to every one negative feedback conversation. Exceptional relationships are the result of five positives to every one negative.

When we don’t feel valued we wonder if we are doing a good job. We may even worry if we are at risk of losing our job. We lose our sense of purpose if we believe what we do isn’t important enough to be noticed and appreciated. Purpose is powerful!

 

Next is Perception!

Appreciation can change our perception by changing our focus. For example let’s say you’re not getting along with a coworker. It is our nature to focus on what we don’t like and take for granted the things we do like. We get so focused on what we don’t like about a person we stop seeing the good in them.

Here is an exercise for the next time you get really upset with someone…your spouse, significant other, close friend or co-worker. It may even be today. What are five things you appreciate about this person? How do they make a difference in your life? On a scale of 1 to 10 how big of deal is what you are upset about? Focus on what you appreciate about that person instead of what you don’t.

When we take time to think about what we appreciate about the other person it changes our focus. When we change our focus we see them in a new light and it changes our perception. When we show appreciation to another person it changes their perception of us as well. It also changes their willingness to help. People are much more willing to go the extra yard if they know they will be appreciated.

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide in my Culture Camps to create a happier healthier and higher performing culture. I utilize appreciation because it has the power to mend and restore relationships. A major focus of my culture camp is to help teams work together better. I was working with a team that was extremely divided. We started the culture camp with an appreciation exercise. This is an exercise I use often when there is drama, hurt feelings or conflict between colleagues. I asked every team member to share with the entire team what they appreciate about each of their coworkers. They were to be very specific including how it was helpful to them. It was amazing to watch the energy shift in the room. Frustration, anger and hurt shifted to receptiveness, willingness and gratification. There are often times tears of relief and hugs of acceptance. Perception is powerful!

 

Last but not least Positivity!

Positivity is the practice of being positive or optimistic in attitude. Positivity is a side effect of appreciation. Whether we are the giver the receiver of appreciation we feel more positive.

When we feel appreciation we feel happy and at peace and no longer feel anger or frustration. We are not wired to entertain both appreciation and negative emotions at the same time. The more we look for opportunities to show appreciation the more we will find and the more positive everyone will feel. It is positive circulation in motion!

In positive psychology research, appreciation is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Appreciation helps people feel more positive emotions, enjoy good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build stronger relationships. Which is why I wrote my book TA-DAH! Get Happy in 5 Seconds or Less. Positivity is powerful!

Another great read for the entire office is “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace” by Gary Chapman. He shares the five ways we feel appreciated. They are verbal, time, help, gifts and touch.

Look for reasons to show appreciation daily and BE the following:

  • Be timely
  • Be specific
  • Be brief
  • BE GENUINE

Start practicing appreciation today! You will be amazed at how simply showing appreciation will cultivate purpose, perception and positivity in your life!

 

 

 

 

July 3, 2018

Avoiding Assumptions…How to Ask!

Avoiding Assumptions!

Assumptions create 90% of all dental team conflicts! We make assumptions every minute of every day. Something happens and we instantly assign meaning to it. That is an assumption. We start imagining what other people are doing, what they’re thinking, what they’re saying about us. We invent an entire story based on assumptions and we believe it. One assumption leads to another assumption; we jump to conclusions and we take it personally. Almost all team conflicts are based on assumptions. Assumptions are nothing more than false stories that we are telling ourselves. They create a big drama for no reason because they aren’t based on fact.

It may be correct or it may be incorrect. We won’t know unless we take the next step. ASK! Sounds easy but it’s not. We often fear that if we ask, we may open ourselves up to an emotional reaction such as judgment, criticism or retaliation.

It is vital that we don’t allow the fear of a negative response stop us from asking. We truly don’t know what someone intended by their actions or words. Our perception of what it means to us when we do a certain action may have a totally different meaning for someone else. Sometimes even what others say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean. And just because someone felt a certain way in the past doesn’t mean they still feel the same. Stop making assumptions and start asking questions regardless of a potential negative response.

When you get that twinge in your gut and you think “Hmmm – I wonder what they meant by that, or I wonder why they haven’t…?” Or you find yourself saying “I think they meant this.” Stop wondering and ASK the person! Go directly to the person instead of asking others…what do you think they meant when they…? Other people’s responses will only be assumptions as well. It may seem like conflict to approach the person who gave you the twinge in the gut. It is actually very respectful. Because you are going to the source instead of gossiping to others. You are giving them an opportunity to be heard and allowing them to share their why. Be mindful of the energy you bring to the conversation. Always approach from a place (mindset) of care, concern and curiosity versus anger, judgment and criticism.

Some simple questions to ask are:

  • I am not quite sure what you meant, please tell me more?
  • I am not quite sure what happened. Can we talk about it?
  • Is everything okay?
  • Are you okay?

Continue to respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s intent. If you are still thinking “I think they meant…” you are assuming. It is important to continue to ask more questions to achieve a deeper understanding! Believe them when they explain their why otherwise, there is no reason to even have a conversation.

If you are the person being approached thank the other person for speaking with you. Remember they respect and trust you enough to come to you. “Thank you for sharing this with me. I appreciate that you came to me instead of not addressing it or going to someone else.” Take time if you need to reflect before responding. Always set a specific time to meet again to discuss. “I can see this is important to you. I would like to take today to think about it. Can we talk about it tomorrow at lunch?” The more questions we ask the less assumptions we will make the better we will work together!

June 1, 2018

Rise Above the Pain of Change! Part 2

Rise Above the Pain of Change! Part 2

In Part 1 we covered the first 2 essentials to rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process; trust in leadership and a clear and consistent direction!

The third essential is for leadership to work with the team to develop a well-structured plan. If you want the team to embrace a change ask for their suggestions and feedback on how to implement the change. If you want the team to have ownership give them authorship as well. A well-structured plan is well thought out and clearly defined. I teach teams the R.I.S.E. Implementation Process to help them work together to create a well-structured plan. R.I.S.E. is an acronym for Review, Implement, Sustain and Evaluate.

  • Review
    • What is it we are currently doing
    •  What is working and what is not
    • Keep what is let go of what is not
    • WIIFTT – What’s in it for the team if we make the chang
    • It is important for the value/benefits to rate an 8 or above on scale of 1 to 10 or it is difficult to sustain
  • Implement
    • What are we going to change
    • Who is going to do it
    • Who are we going to do it for
    • When are we going to do it – including time, sequence and flow
    • Where are we going do it – very specific location
    • Why are we going to do it
      • WIIFTT if we make the change – there must always be something in it for the team for the team to sustain the change
    • How are we going do it
      • Practice verbal skills
      • Practice role playing – yes I know it’s weird but it’s effective
      • Practice the entire physical walk through – never test it out for the first time on a patient
      • Create standard operating procedure
      • Schedule the roll out date
  • Sustain
    • In order to sustain it is important for the new change to become a habit
      • It takes a range of 17 to 257 days to form a habit depending on the difficulty with the average being 66 days
    • Give any new change at least 60 days to get comfortable before considering any changes
    • Be precise and consistent to form a habit much sooner
      • Same sequence and steps for every team member every time
    • Support the change positively in words, actions and attitude
  • Evaluate
    • Is the process still working effectively
    • If not what is the value and benefits in a change
    • Any change takes ongoing tweaking

The fourth essential is to schedule appropriate and adequate training and practice time. I have found that the most positive and successful changes happen when the team has time to train and practice.

Team meetings are the perfect opportunity for training and practice time. Utilize your team meetings to:

  • Review and update systems and protocols
  • Implement new ideas
  • Monitor process of yearly goals
  • Practice, practice, practice
    • Verbal skills, role playing and physical walk through

Team meetings are most effective when you:

  • Schedule often enough
  • Schedule time enough
  • Schedule when most can attend
  • Get feedback from the entire team
    • Encourage solution focused suggestions on how to overcome potential obstacles

The fifth essential is to be realistic with the workload. It will be very difficult to get the team excited about embracing something new if they are already swamped and consistently running behind. It is important to evaluate whether there is enough time, money and people to successfully implement the change. Don’t firehose your employees with changes. Implement only one or two new things at a time. Even the most committed employees will become resistant to change if they are consistently overwhelmed.

Cultivating a culture with these 5 essentials will help you rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process!

May 1, 2018

Rise Above the Pain of Change! Part 1

Rise Above the Pain of Change! Part 1

You may have heard the quote; “The only thing that is constant is change!” It is true, change is inevitable but not always positive or successful! The reality is that some work cultures support positive change, while other cultures sabotage change. There are many factors involved, such as team workload, other current changes in progress, team beliefs about change, clear communication about the change, benefits of the change, appropriate training, coaching and support provided during the change, etc.

I have the privilege of helping dental teams nationwide create a happier, healthier and higher performing culture that they will enjoy coming to everyday. This always involves making changes. I often observe team members roll their eyes and let out deep sighs of frustration when they hear there is another change heading their way. They stress and worry about how it will affect them and how long it will last. This article is dedicated to learning how to rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process.

Change for many of us is often scary. The fear of change comes when we start the assumptions of “what if” thoughts! How many times have you been afraid to make a change because of saying to yourself, “But what if this happens”? You just “what if’d” yourself right out of action. Think about this. It’s a biggy! How many times has fear stopped you? The ironic part is that fear is really only a negative prediction of the future. In most cases, what we worry about doesn’t happen. What actually happened, we didn’t even think about or worry about, and yet we still survived. Its proof that worry is a total waste of energy and time. If we can learn to evaluate the real danger, as opposed to the perception of danger (what if), we will get a more realistic viewpoint and we will be less afraid to make the change. Imagine how much happier you would be right this second if the fear of “what if” had no impact on your decisions. What would you do or change? What would your life look like right now?

Change requires us to have courage to face our fear of “what if” in unpredictable and unknown! Regardless of how dysfunctional, unhappy, unproductive or toxic the current culture may be it often feels safer to keep the status quo. The known almost always feels safer than the unknown. That is why it is imperative that the value of the change be clear to those asked to make the change. It is essential that the value and benefits of change rate an 8 or above on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being high. Otherwise, the chance for the change to be positive and sustainable is limited.

I have found 5 essentials to help dental teams rise above their fears and embrace change as a positive process.

  • Trust in leadership
  • Clear and consistent direction
  • Structured plan
  • Adequate training and practice time
  • Realistic workload

The number one essential necessary to embrace change is trust in the leadership. If the team members trust their leader(s) they will be more willing to step into the unpredictable and unknown. Leaders can build trust by embodying the following traits:

  1. Model the waddle is the number one leadership principle – in other words lead by example
  2. Have a clear and consistent direction
  3. Be transparent by communicating to keep the team in the loop as much as possible
  4. Be open to suggestions and feedback
  5. Address any obstacles, fears or concerns the team may have about the change

The second essential is to communicate a clear and consistent direction. It is important to use a decision strategy to avoid fly-bys and emotion driven decisions in the heat of the moment. I teach the following four strategic steps:

  • What’s in the best interests of the patients, practice and the team – not any individual and long term
    • Think about 10 months and 10 years instead of next 10 minutes or 10 days
  • What is practical and realistic based on time, people and money currently available
  • What is the precedent being set
    • Is it fair, if we can’t do it across the board for everyone on the team it will feel like favoritism and divide the team
  • What is the level of passion we are willing to support the decision
    • Will we support it when push comes to shove even if it may result in losing an employee or a patient

Set your team up to succeed by communicating the change clearly and concisely. I suggest the following communication process:

  • Clarify expectations
  • Ask questions to make sure everyone understands
  • Write objective down in bullet points if more than a couple of things
  • Identify equipment and supplies necessary
  • Schedule adequate training and practice time
  • Set realistic expectations for completion time and date
  • For more involved longer tasks schedule a check in

Read Part 2 to learn all 5 essentials to rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process!

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