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October 1, 2018

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 2

Achieving Authentic Success! Part 2

In Part 1 we talked about how confidence can help us be our authentic self. When we are confident we are free to choose who we want to be. We stop worrying about what others think and stop relying on others for affirmation.

This message is focused on how the power of perseverance and commitment can help us to achieve authentic success.

Perseverance is what helps us keep going when the going gets tough. I am an overnight success. LOL that is if you call 12 years overnight. I am blessed to have inherited my mom’s perseverance to succeed. You could often hear her say; “Come hell or high water this is happening!” Trust me it did. We never doubted whether mom would get the job done even against insurmountable odds.

I started my coaching business August 1, 2006. The next six months I visited over 200 dental offices in Minnesota to introduce my coaching services only to receive a resounding NO response. My awesome husband, Steve continued to cheer me on even though his heart was breaking for me. I finally started to get a tiny bit of interest but not enough to really stay afloat. One of my closest friends suggested I stop wasting my time and get a real job. (FYI she is no longer in my life). Her words were a challenge like waving a red flag in front of bull. Growing up on a farm in North Dakota we learned you pulled yourself up by your own boot straps. I had tried to do it all on my own and finally realized I needed some help. Two dental industry giants, Lois Banta and Linda Miles were there to lift me up. I attended my first SCN (Speaking Consulting Network) Meeting June of 2007 and haven’t looked back since. (www.speakingconsultingnetwork.com) I am forever grateful for their mentoring and support and I am honored to call them good friends.

Many of us have had someone during our life time help lift us up. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Develop strong relationships with others who have complementary skills to help you succeed. Perseverance doesn’t mean we have to do it all on our own. Perseverance means we do what we need to do to succeed. Let me clarify; as long as it is legal, ethical and done with integrity! These fundamentals are a given and expected yet we often see just the opposite. “Success is the ability to lay your head on your pillow at night with your integrity uncompromised!” Here are some reminders of dos and don’ts.

  • Do what you said when you said you would do it
  • Don’t claim you are someone you are not
  • Don’t step on someone else to step up
  • Don’t plagiarize from others
  • Don’t be vague and misleading
  • Don’t do something you know is wrong and think it is okay as long as you apologize later

Commitment is the third component to achieving authentic success! It takes commitment to daily action steps to achieve the results we desire. Remember to avoid O.C.D. …over committer’s disorder. Be realistic about what you can commit to doing consistently. Consistency is the key. Something you do occasionally will never be sustainable. In order for us to sustain something it needs to become a habit. The average habit takes 66 days of precise and consistent practice. Once something becomes a habit we don’t even think about it we just do it. My good friend Dr. Uche Odiatu simplifies how to consistently eat healthy and exercise. He has created a 7 minute exercise routine to help those who don’t exercise at all get started. Don’t forget to celebrate each step of the way. The joy happens during the journey!

Here are some steps to help you shine!

  • Define your 4 core values.
    • Make sure they are what you are enthusiastic about, and not someone else’s dream.
    • Share your core values with others.
  • Clarify your goals and objectives for the year.
    • Know your strengths and the areas you need to grow.
    • Embrace daily habits that help you achieve your goals.
  • Surround yourself with people who inspire you.
    • Develop strong relationships with others who have complementary skills to help you succeed
    • Focus on what you can do to lift others.
  • Don’t compromise your core values, your health, or your family.
    • Challenge yourself to do difficult things to help you grow.
    • Do only what is legal, ethical and with integrity.
  • Enjoy the journey as much as the final destination.
    • Be grateful for what is and celebrate even the small things daily.

Every day we have the opportunity to show up authentic and be our best us, we can be. Every day we have the opportunity to shine. Every day we have the opportunity to serve and impact others in a positive way to help lift them up to shine. When we do we achieve authentic success! TA-DAH!

 

October 1, 2014

Assumptions!

ASSUMPTIONS!

HOW CAN WE STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS?

WE MAKE ASSUMPTIONS EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.

SOMETHING HAPPENS AND WE INSTANTLY ASSIGN MEANING TO IT.

THAT IS AN ASSUMPTION.

 

We start imagining what other people are doing, what they’re thinking, what they’re saying about us. We invent an entire story based on assumptions and we believe it. One assumption leads to another assumption; we jump to conclusions and we take it personally. Then we point the finger and blame other people. We usually start gossiping to try to justify our assumptions. Almost all conflicts are based on false assumptions. Assumptions are nothing more than false stories that we are telling ourselves. This creates a big drama for nothing because we don’t know if it is really true.

For example, when we haven’t heard from a close friend in a while we start to wonder if anything is wrong. The more we worry about it the more reasons we find to support our belief that something is wrong. And instead of picking up the phone and calling to ask if everything is okay we justify why we shouldn’t and put the blame on them. We continue to build our story and stress. Then our friend finally calls and we find out they have just been swamped in the busyness of life! All that negative energy and drama for a story we made up from assumptions.

It may be correct or it may be incorrect. We won’t know unless we take the next step. That step is a simple three letter word. ASK! Sounds easy but it’s not. We often fear that if we ask, we may open ourselves up to an emotional reaction. I call that emotional reaction an eggshell. Eggshells spawn many of the assumptions in our lives and in our dental practices today. It’s the fear of these potential eggshells that stop us from asking and allow us to start assuming.

Some of the eggshells I am referring to are:

  • Anger
  • Judgment/Criticism
  • Retaliation
  • Hurt feelings

We can’t let fear stop us from asking if we want to avoid assumptions. We don’t know what someone meant by their actions or words or the way they said something. Sometimes even what they say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean. And just because someone felt a certain way in the past doesn’t mean they still feel the same. Stop making assumptions and start asking questions regardless of potential eggshells.

When you get that twinge in your gut and you think “Hmmm – I wonder what they meant by that, or I wonder why they haven’t…?” Or you find yourself saying “I think they meant this” – you don’t know! Stop yourself immediately from wondering and speculating and ASK! You will be surprised how many of your initial assumptions are incorrect once you hear their intent.

Ask with care, concern and respect. Some simple questions to ask are:

  • I am not quite sure what you meant, please tell me more?
  • I am not quite sure what happened. Can we talk about it?
  • Is everything okay?
  • Are you okay?

Continue to respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s true intent. If you are still thinking “I think they meant…” you are assuming. It is important to continue to ask more questions to achieve a deeper understanding!