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October 3, 2016

Constructive Conversation

The words Constructive Criticism always make me cringe. There just doesn’t seem to be anything constructive about criticism. The dictionary defines criticism as the act of passing judgment as to the merits of qualities, values and abilities. I have yet to see where judging someone has helped to promote their further development and advancement or improve outcome. Instead, criticism comes across as judging, condemning or blaming and has negative effects such as employee shut down, lack of confidence and decline in performance. Yet employers and managers continue to utilize constructive criticism to promote employee growth and change. They continue to do so because of misconceptions about effectiveness and not out of maliciousness.

It’s time to transform the criticism part into a constructive conversation. A constructive conversation includes the following fundamentals and has two role players. The two role players are the Approacher and Approachee. The Approacher is the person conveying and enquiring and the Approachee is the person receiving and responding.

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May 1, 2016

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do! 10 Decisions to Make before Transitioning into a Partnership

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do! 10 Decisions to Make before Transitioning into a Partnership

The divorce rate of dental partnerships is equal to or higher than marital divorce rates, and filled with similar emotions such as anger, resentment, loss, blame and financial pain. Breaking up is hard to do!

Whether you are the new dentist joining the practice or the established dentist the transition process is often extremely emotional. The retiring dentist often feels unappreciated and pushed out. The new dentist feels like they are on hold or in limbo just waiting to enact their plans.

A transition expert can help make the process flow much smoother. However, some experts focus primarily on the money side of the transition. There is more to a transition than just the money. Very seldom is money the cause for breakup. It is the disagreements on the day to day operations that lead to most breakups.

I have found partnerships to be a lot like a marriage. You have your dating phase where everything is just awesome. Then you become partners (marriage or work) you start to notice little things that you differ on that you just assumed you would be on the same page. In other words that they would agree with you and do it your way. The little things don’t stay little; they go from just bugging you to driving you crazy. Anger, stress, resentment and frustration build until someone blows up and eventually decides to break up. When I ask dentists what was their deal breaker…it is almost always different expectations pertaining to the day to day operations.

It’s important for partners to have a clear and united vision for how the practice will operate from the start in order to nurture a successful partnership. It starts by both partners clarifying their expectations during negotiations and being open and willing to compromise. We can no longer expect it to be done only our way. If partners have different visions and goals for the practice they will confuse and frustrate the team and each other. Creating a clear and united partnership will be an ongoing decision making process.

Discuss and agree on how you will actually work together and run the day to day operations during negotiations. Here are 10 key decisions to make prior to becoming partners and signing on the dotted line.

  1. Equipment
  • What is the budget and overhead percentages
  • Who decides what to purchase
  • Who pays for it
  • Who decides when to purchase
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. Team
  • Who makes decisions on recruitment and termination
  • Who decides which team member works with each doctor
  • Who trains the new employees
  • Who makes ongoing decisions relating to the team
  • Who is the go to person for the team (I suggest the practice administrator is the go to person who then meets with the doctors to discuss and make decisions.)
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. Leadership
  • Who sets systems and protocols
  • Who handles conflict resolution
  • What happens if it is the doctor’s attitude, communication or behavior that creates concerns with the team and or patients
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. Patient Care/Treatment
  • Will the services you offer be the same or different
  • What special amenities will you offer
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. Schedule
  • How are new patients distributed
  • Who sets procedure times and protocols
  • Who does hygiene exams and on which patients
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. Production/Performance
  • What is the expectation for working hours and time for each partner
  • What is expectation for PPH
  • How much time off
  • How far in advance is notice needed to request time off
  • How are emergencies handled and who covers them
  • How are hygiene exams compensated
  • Will you be fee for service provider or an insurance provider (if so which)
  • Will you offer 3rd party financing
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. Working Elsewhere
  • Non-compete expectations
  • Non-solicitation expectations
  • Teaching and CE engagement expectations
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. CE
  • Who pays for CE
  • Is there a cap on CE per partner
  • Who decides what CE is pertinent to the team
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

  1. Unforeseen Circumstances
  • Disability
  • Death
  • Breach of partnership
  • Bankruptcy

 

  1. Exit Strategy
  • Establish a clear and specific exit strategy to avoid a negative/emotional ending
  • Clearly define the wind down process
  • Specify schedule (hours and days per week)
  • Agree on and set the final working date
  • What happens if you don’t agree

 

Prevent the breakdowns that lead to breakups by discussing and agreeing on the 10 key decisions before signing on the dotted line!

(If you would like to receive the white pages for United Leadership please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and write United Leadership in the subject line.)

April 1, 2016

They Don’t Care How Much You Know …4 Fundamentals To Show How Much You Care!

They Don’t Care How Much You Know …4 Fundamentals To Show How Much You Care!

You may have heard the phrase, “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!” I am blessed to work with dental teams nationwide to help them cultivate a happier, healthier and higher performing culture while delivering care with more passion and fun! The care part can often be vague and confusing. I send teams surveys for feedback on where they feel they excel and where they would like to grow to assist me in customizing their workshop. Most team members score themselves high at delivering excellent care. Yet when I observe the team I often find the opposite to be true. I have found it often stems from a difference of opinion or understanding about the meaning of care! Which is why it is important for leadership (Doctor/Practice Administrator/Team Leads) to be on the same page and clearly define and model the waddle of what it means to deliver exceptional care in their office.

Here are four fundamentals to show our patients how much we care!

Know Them! It is necessary to get to know your patients on a meaningful level to deliver exceptional care. It starts with being aware of the patient’s needs and desires and being willing to do something to help them meet them. Caring is more than just being considerate, courteous or polite. It’s an entirely different level. It means being truly concerned for the wellbeing of other. It means taking time to have a conversation with our patient. Here are some examples of questions that can help us get to know our patients better.

  • How do you feel about coming to see a dentist?
  • What has been your past experience?
  • What are your goals and desires for your oral health?
  • What do you like most about your smile?
  • What would you change if you could change your smile by simply waving a magic wand?
  • What questions do you have about today’s appointment?
  • What can I do to make today’s experience better?

We can show we truly care when presenting treatment by:

  • Speaking slowly and clearly
  • Presenting in bite size pieces
  • Stopping data dumping
  • Comforting them if they have concerns or fears
  • Communicating on their level
  • Being and advocate instead of a sales person
  • Thanking them for being a patient

Don’t Judge! It is human nature to have our favorite patients that we go above and beyond in delivering care. We pick and choose who will be our favorites based on their worthiness defined by their behavior. We are in essence judging our patients! Sure, we will be courteous and polite, but before we go all out we judge their worthiness first. It’s as if they need to meet some kind of external standard we have set in our mind. Here are a few examples of external standards, we set: being tardy, quirky personality, uptight, anxious or upset. We treat them different and deliver a lower level of care than we do for the patients we consider our favorites…our V.I.P’s!

If we are truly going to care for someone we will look past the outward and go right to the heart. Instead of prejudging people before we get to know them; show genuine interest, regardless of circumstances and personality. When we sincerely care for people, we will always be a person with whom others feel comfortable. They will feel confident that we don’t have a hidden agenda and they will trust that we will listen to them without judging them.

Active listening is often the biggest validation to show that we care! Be an active listener by:

  • Making eye contact
  • Smiling at them
  • Being polite
  • Hearing them by focusing on what they are saying

Show Empathy! Empathy is essential if we want to show our patients we care. Sometimes it may seem hard to show empathy to patients who are displaying less than desirable behaviors. I am not suggesting we just fake it. Instead come from a real place by entering their world. Imagine what it feels like to walk in their shoes by asking yourself the following questions:

  • What would it take for me to act like that
  • Would I feel differently if it where my mom or dad (a family member) behaving this way
  • How would I feel if this was happening to me or I was in their circumstances

Any time we can imagine the situation from the other person’s point of view, we lower our own defenses and, in the process, defuse their anger. Imagination influences feelings and feelings are the source of desire. It makes our actions easy and natural and real when we desire to do something. Compassion, caring, comforting, and kindness – make up the bulk of adjectives linked to patient loyalty and rooted in one’s capacity for empathy. According to the Dictionary, “empathy” is “the ability to share in another’s emotions or feelings.” It is composed of two Greek words that mean “affection” and “feeling.” When our patents receive empathy, they feel loved and cared about.

Resolve Complications! Occasionally even the best teams have patient complications arise. It is important to address complications ASAP. Be mindful of the energy and attitude you are bringing to the conversation. Focus on coming from a place or mindset of curiosity, care and concern. It is never about proving you are right and they are wrong. We never win by making a patient wrong. Regardless of what the concern is start out by asking the patient, “How can I help you?” Then stop and listen to what they have to say. Please don’t try to feel in the blanks or be defensive. Once they have stopped speaking ask the next question. “May I have your permission to give you feedback?” This does several things. If the patient has not finished sharing their concerns they have the opportunity to let you know they have more. This stops us from stepping on their words. It also gets the patient ready to listen to our response. Regardless of what you are going to suggest respond by saying, “I can help you and this is how…!” Avoid responses starting with, “I can’t” or “I won’t” as they often generate an immediate defensive reaction from the patient. Our patients will feel we care when we utilize positive verbiage sharing what we can do versus what we can’t!

(If you would like to receive the white pages for Patient Communication Standards   please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and write Patient Communication Standards in the subject line.)

The awesome part is that when we take the time to show our patients we truly care about them…they will trust and respect us enough to say YES to accept our care!

March 1, 2016

How to Prevent 3 Communication Pitfalls!

Our level of success in life is in direct relationship to how successfully we communicate. Communication can often be difficult and sometimes very frustrating. When we don’t say anything, an assumption is made – and in most cases, it’s negative. If we do say something, it may be perceived incorrectly. If that is not enough, there are all the “shoulds” from others – their comparison expectations on how we should do something, or be something or live our life a certain way. In other words, their way!

Because of assumptions, perceptions and comparison expectations we often make commitments to either do things we don’t want to do or don’t have time to do. Just writing this makes me feel exhausted! Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to worry about communicating? But that is not reality.

Our success in life depends on our ability to communicate. Therefore, it is necessary to learn how to communicate and overcome these pitfalls regardless of how frustrating or difficult they may be. I have found from years of coaching dental teams nationwide that the best way to get good at something is to remove or overcome the obstacles.

Let’s start with assumptions. This one is a biggy! We make assumptions every minute of every day. Something happens and we instantly assign meaning to it. It may be correct or it may be incorrect. We won’t know unless we take the next step. That step is asking. Sounds easy but it’s not. We often fear that if we ask, we may open ourselves up to an emotional reaction. We can’t let fear stop us from asking. We don’t know what someone meant by their actions or words or the way they said something. Sometimes even what they say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean. Ask with care, concern and respect. Continue to respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s true intent. If you are still thinking “I think they meant…”, you are assuming and it is important ask more questions to achieve a clear understanding.

Perceptions are just as dangerous as assumptions. Both the person speaking and the person listening play a role in perceptions. I often hear team members say, “I didn’t mean it that way! They just took it wrong! So it’s not my fault!” If you are always being misunderstood, it is important to reflect on how you are communicating. It is not just what you say that counts in communication. It is also how the message is being perceived. The listener often bases their perception on their past experiences they had with you as well as your words, body language and tone of voice. They often assign meaning based on what it would mean if they said or did that same thing, which in many cases does not accurately reflect the other person’s intent. Inaccurate perceptions also happen when we don’t hear the entire story or all the reasons or steps. It is important to take the time to clearly explain your intent to avoid false perceptions.

Comparison Expectations create negative expectations! They are the “shoulds” that guilt us into doing things we aren’t comfortable doing or feeling terrible about ourselves when we don’t. We have all heard and even said, “You should….!” Comparison Expectations happen when we compare ourselves to others…or when others compare us to them. The comparison is what creates the expectations for who, what, when where, why and how we should do something based on what others do. Comparing is toxic; someone always loses. We may even believe that others are wrong when they don’t do something our way. Comparison expectations can make us feel or do something out of guilt. Guilt creates shame and shame inhibits communication because if we feel shameful about something, we are less likely to communicate openly and honestly. Stop the comparison noise! Quit allowing the “shoulds” from yourself and others to dictate your actions AND quit expecting others to do things your way. Instead together as a team create clear standards and support them!

(If you would like to receive the white pages for Team Communication Guidelines please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and write Team Communication Guidelines in the subject line.)

Our success in life will depend greatly on how well we communicate in our personal and professional lives. Communicate clearly, ask questions to avoid false assumptions and perceptions and for goodness sake…stop “shouldng” on each other!

February 1, 2016

The ABC’s of Working Together Better!

The ABC’s of Working Together Better!

Many dental teams struggle with drama, conflict, gossip, negative attitudes, low morale and poor communication. In most cases, it is not because they are a bad team. They have just become confused and lost their way resulting from having different expectations. All of us come from such different backgrounds with unique and individual experiences. Therefore, what we believe is appropriate or inappropriate, and right or wrong, is skewed by our personal experiences. Our personal experiences create our personal truths. I refer to it as the acronym B.O.A.T. – beliefs, opinions and assumptions equal our truths. Our B.O.A.T. determines how we act, respond, view and judge each other.

I still have my report card from when I was in the second grade. We actually had a section where we were graded on our conduct. It was broken down into the following sections; observes school regulations, works and plays well with others, respect for property, respect for authority, is courteous in speech and manner. S was for satisfactory U was for unsatisfactory. Thankfully I received all S’s!

It seems as if conduct is no longer a part of the discussion when it comes to expectations for employee performance. In fact, employees often believe that it is the Doctor or Practice Administrator’s responsibility to make everyone get along and behave. When the truth of it is it is each team member’s responsibility to work and play well with their coworkers.
I love to help dental teams nationwide work together better! After years of working with many teams, I have found the best way get everyone to working together better is to create clear expectations for Attitude, Behavior and Communication! What I refer to as the ABC Standards.

Creating ABC Standards will help cultivate a culture that is happier, healthier and higher performing! ABC Standards increase clarity, unity, congruency, level of service, and your business reputation; while preventing the chafing and disagreements from assumptions and opinions of who is right and wrong.

I have often asked my audiences to raise their hand if they have established standards or guidelines for their team’s performance regarding attitude, behavior and communication. Two hands were the most I have ever seen raised in any audience at any one time and some of my audiences have been 800 plus people. We just expect that everyone should know what is appropriate and what is not and what is the right way or wrong way. Without realizing it we set ourselves up for failure when we don’t have clear standards.

Have a team meeting with the entire team to discuss ABC Standards for your practice. Ask each team member to share what they feel they need from each other to be able to work together better. I find using a big easel pad with markers to write down the responses helps to generate more participation. Be specific and define what it means in words, actions, body language and tone of voice. Some examples might be:

Be Likeable
Be courteous
Be nice
Be happy
Believe in Positive Intent
Be Honest
Be Compassionate
Be Trustworthy
Have an Ownership Mentality
Be helpful
No gossip
Lead by Example
Be Reliable
Be Appreciative
Be Fun

(If you would like to receive my ABC’s Sample Standards please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and write ABC’s Sample in the subject line.)
Take your team’s responses and put them together to create your ABC’s Standards Document. Print it out, frame it and put it on display wherever one can see it daily. A lunch room or locker room often works well. Your daily huddle is a great opportunity to create accountability. Ask each team member to share at the huddle how they did the previous day as an individual and as a team supporting the standards. Where did they rock it and where did they fall short and need to grow? The more you discuss your standards on a daily basis the more real and alive they become.

It is important for the entire team to know that there will be consequences and what they will be for not supporting your ABC Standards. The consequences are to be across the board for entire team. No exclusions and no exceptions regardless of a team member’s longevity, skillsets, etc. or you sabotage the culture and divide the team.

Establishing clear and consistent consequences will clarify to the team what they can expect if they choose not to support the ABC Standards. Doctors and Practice Administrators may feel bad or stressed when they have to follow thru with the consequences. Here is the bottom line; the team member chose their consequences when they chose their behavior.
I ask the teams I coach to come up with what they feel are fair consequences for not supporting the ABC Standards. The following four-step process is suggested by most teams.

1. Conversation between team member and source.
2. Verbal warning from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).
3. Written warning from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).
4. Termination from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).

The refreshing part is that in most cases it will not be necessary to enact any consequences when the team sees how awesome it is to work together better!
TA-DAH! And they all worked happily ever after! Thee End!

December 1, 2015

5 Core Culture Characteristics that Nurture Change!

December 2015

5 Core Culture Characteristics that Nurture Change!

You may have heard the quote; “The only thing that is constant is change!” It is true, change is inevitable but not always positive or successful! The reality is that some work cultures support positive and successful change, while other cultures sabotage change. There are many factors involved, such as team workload, other current changes in progress, team beliefs about change, clear communication about the change, benefits of the change, appropriate training, coaching and support provided during the change, etc.

I help dental teams nationwide successfully embrace change. This month is dedicated to learning how to create a culture where change can be a more positive, successful and sustainable experience!

 

 

Change requires us to have courage to face our fear of the unpredictable unknown! Regardless of how dysfunctional, unhappy, unproductive or toxic the current culture may be it often feels safer to keep the status quo. The known almost always feels safer than the unknown. That is why the value of the change must be clear to those expected to make the change. It is important for the value and benefits of change to rate an 8 or above on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being high. Otherwise, the chance for the change to be sustained is limited.

After working with dental teams for many years I have found 5 consistent characteristics in the cultures that support positive and successful change.

  • Trust in leadership
  • Clear and consistent direction
  • Structured plan
  • Adequate training and practice time
  • Realistic workload

The number one core characteristic that supports change is trust in the leadership. If the team members trust their leader(s) they will be more willing to step into the unpredictable unknown. Leaders can build trust by embodying the following traits:

  • Model the waddle is the number one leadership principle – in other words lead by example
  • Have a clear and consistent direction
  • Be transparent and keep the team in the loop as much as possible
  • Be open to suggestions and feedback
  • Address any obstacles, fears or concerns the team may have

The second core characteristic is to communicate a clear and consistent direction. It is important to use a decision strategy to avoid emotion driven decisions in the heat of the moment. I teach the following four strategic steps:

  • What’s in the best interests of the patients, practice and the team – not any individual and long term
    • Think about 10 months and 10 years instead of next 10 minutes or 10 days
  • What is practical and realistic based on time, people and money currently available
  • What is the precedence being set – if we can’t do it across the board for everyone on the team it will feel like favoritism and divide the team
  • What is the level of passion which we are willing to support the decision – will we support it when push comes to shove even if it may result in losing an employee or a patient

Set your team up to succeed by delegating the change clearly and concisely. I suggest the following delegation process:

  • Clarify expectations
  • Ask questions to make sure everyone understands
  • Write objective down in bullet points if more than a couple of things
  • Set expectation of completion time and date
  • Under promise and over deliver
  • For more involved longer tasks schedule a check in

The third core characteristic is for leadership to work with the team to develop a well-structured plan. If you want the team to embrace a change ask for their suggestions and feedback on how to implement the change. If you want the team to have ownership give them authorship as well. A well-structured plan is well thought out and clearly defined. I teach teams the R.I.S.E. Implementation Process to help them work together to create a well-structured plan. R.I.S.E. is an acronym for Review, Implement, Sustain and Evaluate.

  • Review
    • What is it we are currently doing
    • WIIFTT – What’s in it for the team if we make the change
      • It is important for the value/benefits to rate an 8 or above on scale of 1 to 10 or it is difficult to sustain
  • Implement
    • What are we going to change
    • Who is going to do it
    • Who are we going to do it for
    • When are we going to do it – including time, sequence and flow
    • Where are we going do it – very specific location
    • Why are we going to do it – WIIFTT if we make the change – there must always be something in it for the team for the team to sustain the change
    • How are we going do it
      • Practice verbal skills
      • Practice role playing – yes I know it’s weird but it’s effective
      • Practice the entire physical walk through – never test it out for the first time on a patient
    • Create standard operating procedures
    • Schedule the roll out date
  • Sustain
    • In order to sustain it is important for the new change to become a habit
    • It takes a range of anywhere between 17 to 257 days to form a habit depending on the difficulty with the average being 66 days
      • Give any new change at least 60 days to get comfortable before considering any changes
    • Be precise and consistent to make the change become a habit much sooner
      • Same sequence and steps for every team member every time
    • Support the change positively in words, actions and attitude
  • Evaluate
    • Is the process still working effectively
    • If not what is the value and benefits in a change
    • Any change takes ongoing tweaking

The fourth core characteristic is to schedule appropriate and adequate training and practice time. I have found that the most positive and successful changes happen when the team has time to train and practice.

Team meetings are the perfect opportunity for training and practice time. Utilize your team meetings to:

  • Update systems/protocols
  • Implement new ideas
  • Monitor yearly goals
  • Practice, practice, practice
    • Verbal skills, role playing and physical walk through

Team meetings are more effective when you:

  • Schedule often enough
  • Schedule time enough
  • Schedule when most can attend
  • Get feedback from the entire team
    • Encourage solution focused suggestions on how to overcome potential obstacles

The fifth core characteristic is to be realistic with the workload. It will be very difficult to get the team excited about embracing something new if they are already swamped and consistently running behind. It is important to evaluate whether there is enough time, money and people to implement the change successfully. Even the most committed employees will become resistant to change if they are consistently overwhelmed.

Embodying these 5 core characteristics will nurture a culture where change becomes a more positive, successful and sustainable experience.

November 11, 2015

Just Say NO!

November 2015

Just Say NO!

I just finished reading a fabulous book written by Patti DeNucci titled the “Intentional Networker – Attracting Powerful Relationships, Referrals and Results in Business”. I absolutely loved the section on when to say NO!  I sometimes struggle with saying no…maybe you do too?  Have you ever said yes to something even when you were already overcommitted and didn’t have a clue how you would get it all done!  This month is dedicated to understanding how to say no so we can say yes to that which is most important to us!

In Patti’s book she shares it is important to learn how to just say no to what does not align with who we are; our values and priorities; our mission and purpose; our vision, intentions, and goals; the image and brand we wish to project; and our dedication to quality over quantity!

We really can’t be everything and do everything for everybody! Say no to what no longer serves you. Balance your time and commitments between purposeful and mindful.

I was taught from a very early age to say yes to any request as long as it was legal, ethical and within my licensure. I was somehow supposed to magically fit it whatever it was…into my schedule. Saying no meant I wasn’t nice and was selfish for putting my own needs first. It has taken me years to overcome the guilt of saying no to requests. I am thrilled to say I am mastering a new mindset of saying no to the things in life that are not a good fit to make room for the things that are a good fit. I can now say no with clarity and confidence. Which I believe has a lot to do with why I am a much happier person. I no longer allow myself to be pushed, cajoled, or guilted into doing things that I know are not a good fit for me. I am unwilling to spend the precious time I have on this earth living someone else’s agenda. Instead I make time for what matters most to me which is my health, my family and my career. I don’t know about you but in the past when I have agreed to things that I knew at the time were not a good fit I tremendously regretted my decision. I now listen to my gut instinct. When it says no, I listen and honor it.

In my business I do not accept requests where I know I am not the best fit…and instead I refer! I am blessed to have awesome colleagues who I am happy to align with their strengths.

Consider saying “no thank you” when requests, offers, and opportunities:

  • Are not the best uses of time, talent or resources
  • Don’t propel you forward toward your purpose, mission, vision, or goals
  • Don’t feed your purpose and passion
  • Cause you to neglect or compromise something important to you such as health or family
  • Could negatively affect your reputation
  • Don’t feel “right” in your heart or gut
  • Don’t interest, inspire, feed, or energize you
  • Create resentment
  • Could create unwanted attention or “noise”
  • Should be handled by someone else
  • Don’t need to be handled at all
  • Are professional requests that should require scheduling and compensation

Here are some polite ways to say no!

  • No thank you
  • No, not today
  • No that doesn’t work for me
  • No, I can’t help you with that
  • No, I am not available
  • No, I have another commitment
  • No, I just can’t say yes to that
  • No, I can’t do this but I can do this…

Learn to say no to what isn’t a good fit to make room for what is a good fit and you will be lead a much happier and more successful life!

Contact Judy Kay today if you would like to learn how she can help you build a cohesive team that support each other and the practice, become better leaders, and deliver service with more passion and fun!

October 1, 2015

Sarcasm! What’s the purpose?

October 2015

This month is dedicated to understanding the negative power of sarcasm and how it can make even the best of teams lose trust and respect!

I coach dental teams nationwide and often see sarcasm as a normal form of their communication! It seems so innocent when we refer to it as “just teasing”! Yet it is one of the quickest ways to lose trust and respect amongst the entire team. I often receive calls from dentists concerned that they have lost the trust and respect of their team. I have found the biggest culprit most often responsible is the sarcastic banter between them and their team.

When asked about sarcasm I often hear, “It’s just how we communicate! We tease each other in fun!” The problem is it’s not really fun…it’s negative. Often times a team member doesn’t realize when they have crossed the line. After all they are just teasing…it’s all in fun right??? The truth is sarcasm shuts down positive and effective communication!

I would like you to think about this for a moment. How do you feel when someone says something sarcastic to you and ends it by saying just teasing! Does it ever plant just a tiny seed of doubt? Do you ever think…hmmm…I wonder if they really feel this way? I wonder if they really meant it. The moment we have this thought we start to doubt and immediately start to lose trust and respect. We say sarcasm is in fun! But really who is having fun? Usually only the teaser not the teas-ee!

I try to look for reasons why someone may feel insecure when they speak to me in a sarcastic tone.  Some people use sarcasm as a way of avoiding confrontation because they are afraid of asking for what they want.  Sarcasm can also be passive aggressive or a way to dominate someone.   Others use sarcasm as a disguised barb when they are angry or upset because the are fearful of what might happen if they communicate openly and honestly.  When people are not good at reading those around them, or uncomfortable carrying on a conversation they will often use sarcasm hoping it sounds playful and witty.  Unfortunately it often has the opposite affect.

The dictionary defines sarcasm as the use of irony to mock, insult, ridicule or convey contempt! How is this in any way a positive form of communication! How does sarcasm in any way help build happy, healthy and high performing team relationships? So why do we support it as an appropriate form of communication? Many dental practices do! Does yours?

Sarcasm is not only hurtful, it is also the least genuine mode of communication.  The bottom line is sarcasm is a very negative and destructive way to communicate. It sabotages and undermines trust and respect and the chance to build a happy, healthy and high performing culture.

My challenge to you and your team is to stop the sarcastic remarks and start communicating openly, honestly and respectfully!

August 1, 2015

How You Make Them Feel!

August 2015

How You Make Them Feel!

Many of us believe it is our level of skill and knowledge that determines our success! When the truth is that there are many highly skilled and knowledgeable people that struggle to succeed. There is an abundance of skill and knowledge available in our society today. In fact we may often feel inundated with too much information! How many product, service or training emails did receive just today and deleted without even opening? Yet most of us will open an email from someone that we like and trust regardless of the topic.

Many of us continue to be customers of certain establishments because we value the relationships we have developed even when other establishments might be better or less expensive. We continue to do business with them because of how they make us feel (trusted, respected, and cared for).   Same goes for our patients. They will decide whether they will continue to do business with us based on how we make them feel!  This message is dedicated to learning how to reach greater success by focusing on improving how you make others feel.

 

 

I recently presented a course titled, Delivering W.O.W. Service: People Will Forget Everything Except How You Make Them Feel, at the PNDC (Pacific Northwest Dental Conference) in Bellevue, Washington. Scott, the camera man who was taking photos of the event happened to be a patient of one of the dentists attending my session. Because my course was about service, brand and loyalty I teasingly asked Scott how he felt about his dentist. Scott’s response was, “He’s awesome!” He shared the following reasons when I asked him why he felt his dentist was awesome.

  • My dentist takes time with me
  • He asks me questions about me and my family
  • He listens to me
  • Everyone on his team is really nice
  • I think he is a good dentist

Notice it wasn’t until the 5th reason that anything pertaining to skill or knowledge was mentioned. The prior four were all about the relationship he had with his dentist and how it made him feel.

Zig Ziglar was spot on when he said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!”

We focus too much of our time, energy and resources on defining who we are and what we can do…instead of focusing on what’s important to our patients and how we make them feel! For example, we create an impressive treatment presentation for our patient. First of all why is it a presentation and not a conversation? Why not a two way conversation where we can make a human connection and find out about what matters to them versus giving them a clinical presentation. It really doesn’t matter how good we are and how awesome we can make their teeth look and function if they don’t trust us and value our treatment suggestions.

Our level of success is a result of the relationships we have built with others whether it be with an employee, co-worker, patient, neighbor, friend or family! How we make them feel determines the strength of that relationship.  Here are a couple of my personal examples of how a strong relationship can trump everything else when it comes to building customer loyalty.

I have had been with the same cell phone company since I purchased my first cell phone in 1992. Yes that was back in the days when the phones were hardwired into the car and were the size of a shoebox. The company has changed names several times and is now T-Mobile. I stay with them because of how their people treat me as a longtime customer.

I have also continued to do business with Tricia Fairchild, my accountant and Mike McHugh my State Farm insurance agent since the early 90s. Why…because I value the relationships we have developed for the same reasons Scott the camera man shared. They take time with me, they ask me questions about me and my family, they listen to me, everyone on their team is nice and I think they are good at what they do. My long term loyalty has nothing to do with them being the absolute best, smartest or cheapest and everything to do with the relationship we have developed over the years. I feel like they know me and care about me as a person as well as my success.

I ask you to take a moment and think about who you have done business with for a period of time? How do they make you feel? Why do you choose to stay loyal to them?  Anytime you interact with others, if focus on how you make them feel you will build a much quicker and stronger relationship.  Our success in life is truly dependent on the relationships we build by how we make others feel when they are around us!

Choose to impact everyone you meet in a positive manner regardless of their behavior or situation. Choose to Smile & Shine and focus on how you make them feel AND you will live a happier and more successful life!

Smile & Shine bands are available on my website at https://www.practicesolutionsinc.net/products.html.

 

July 1, 2015

Don’t Kick the Dog!

July 1, 2015

Don’t Kick the Dog!

I thought the Dog Days of summer would be the perfect time for my topic this month, Don’t Kick the Dog! Both are oppressive. The Dog Days of summer are usually oppressive heat days. Kicking the dog refers to oppressive often displaced behavior towards others. The dog is an analogy for the people who are loyal to us such as a co-workers, friends and family.

This message is dedicated to learning how to stop kicking the dog and instead start loving the dog to build happier, healthier and higher performing relationships!  This is a preview to a larger discussion in August in The Progressive Dentist Magazine, http://theprodentist.com

Some of us are in the habit of kicking the dog whenever we get frustrated because something didn’t meet our expectations! Don’t Kick the Dog!  It is important to remember that the dog is a loyal co-worker, friend or family member. They are the ones who can and will help us most! You may have heard, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Which is actually saying, that when you’re trying to accomplish something, you’ll have more success by using ‘sweeter’ (i.e. politer, nicer) methods than by being angry, frustrated, rude, or cruel. Think about it for a second. Why would anyone go out of their way to help you achieve your goals if your behavior is oppressive towards them?

Here are a few common scenarios that illustrate kicking the dog.

The schedule falls apart and the doctor takes their frustration out by blaming the team so the team takes their frustration out by blaming each other. The reality is neither the doctor nor the team was responsible for the schedule falling apart. It was the patients who either didn’t show or canceled last minute.

We are running behind because a patient came late or the treatment was more involved. We take our frustrations out on our co-workers by blaming them for not helping us enough. They did not make us run behind or make the treatment more difficult.

We get home from a long and tiring day at work and take our frustrations out on our family. They had absolutely nothing to do with what happened during our day AND they are the people we love the most!

In each of these scenarios the person being kicked had nothing to do with the cause for frustration. They just happened to be unlucky enough to be work with us or live with us or just be in the vicinity.   The next time you feel like kicking the dog stop yourself immediately and remember that the dog is loyal to you. Instead start showing them the love they deserve by taking the following steps:

 

  • Breathe deep for a minimum of 30 seconds to surpass the fight or flight stage and get back into the cognitive thinking stage. Take 10 very deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth!
  • Shift your energy from frustration and blame to a caring and solution focused energy by being mindful that they did not cause the problem. They can help you.
  • Don’t assume anything instead ask questions until you clearly understand what happened.
  • Slow down and take the time to ask for help instead of running crazy trying to put out all the fires yourself. How can you be angry at others if you didn’t ask for their help?
  • Let go of the blame game of who did or didn’t do what and instead focus on what steps can help you move forward to achieve your goals.
  • Brainstorm and work together to strategize a plan to change future results.
  • Clearly define the implementation strategy by defining the what, who does it and who for, when, where, why and how.
  • Schedule check-ins to create accountability.
  • Address whenever something isn’t happening the same day if possible with a kind and supportive reminder. Remember we said we were going to…This will help the other person get back on track and avoid frustrations from building. Accountability does not mean you ask for something once. Accountability means we follow though until the task has been completed.
  • Show appreciation by thanking everyone who came to your assistance and helped you to resolve the frustration.

We can build happier, healthier and higher performing relationships and get the results we desire when we stop kicking and start loving the dog! It’s a win for everyone including the dog!

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