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February 1, 2016

The ABC’s of Working Together Better!

The ABC’s of Working Together Better!

Many dental teams struggle with drama, conflict, gossip, negative attitudes, low morale and poor communication. In most cases, it is not because they are a bad team. They have just become confused and lost their way resulting from having different expectations. All of us come from such different backgrounds with unique and individual experiences. Therefore, what we believe is appropriate or inappropriate, and right or wrong, is skewed by our personal experiences. Our personal experiences create our personal truths. I refer to it as the acronym B.O.A.T. – beliefs, opinions and assumptions equal our truths. Our B.O.A.T. determines how we act, respond, view and judge each other.

I still have my report card from when I was in the second grade. We actually had a section where we were graded on our conduct. It was broken down into the following sections; observes school regulations, works and plays well with others, respect for property, respect for authority, is courteous in speech and manner. S was for satisfactory U was for unsatisfactory. Thankfully I received all S’s!

It seems as if conduct is no longer a part of the discussion when it comes to expectations for employee performance. In fact, employees often believe that it is the Doctor or Practice Administrator’s responsibility to make everyone get along and behave. When the truth of it is it is each team member’s responsibility to work and play well with their coworkers.
I love to help dental teams nationwide work together better! After years of working with many teams, I have found the best way get everyone to working together better is to create clear expectations for Attitude, Behavior and Communication! What I refer to as the ABC Standards.

Creating ABC Standards will help cultivate a culture that is happier, healthier and higher performing! ABC Standards increase clarity, unity, congruency, level of service, and your business reputation; while preventing the chafing and disagreements from assumptions and opinions of who is right and wrong.

I have often asked my audiences to raise their hand if they have established standards or guidelines for their team’s performance regarding attitude, behavior and communication. Two hands were the most I have ever seen raised in any audience at any one time and some of my audiences have been 800 plus people. We just expect that everyone should know what is appropriate and what is not and what is the right way or wrong way. Without realizing it we set ourselves up for failure when we don’t have clear standards.

Have a team meeting with the entire team to discuss ABC Standards for your practice. Ask each team member to share what they feel they need from each other to be able to work together better. I find using a big easel pad with markers to write down the responses helps to generate more participation. Be specific and define what it means in words, actions, body language and tone of voice. Some examples might be:

Be Likeable
Be courteous
Be nice
Be happy
Believe in Positive Intent
Be Honest
Be Compassionate
Be Trustworthy
Have an Ownership Mentality
Be helpful
No gossip
Lead by Example
Be Reliable
Be Appreciative
Be Fun

(If you would like to receive my ABC’s Sample Standards please email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and write ABC’s Sample in the subject line.)
Take your team’s responses and put them together to create your ABC’s Standards Document. Print it out, frame it and put it on display wherever one can see it daily. A lunch room or locker room often works well. Your daily huddle is a great opportunity to create accountability. Ask each team member to share at the huddle how they did the previous day as an individual and as a team supporting the standards. Where did they rock it and where did they fall short and need to grow? The more you discuss your standards on a daily basis the more real and alive they become.

It is important for the entire team to know that there will be consequences and what they will be for not supporting your ABC Standards. The consequences are to be across the board for entire team. No exclusions and no exceptions regardless of a team member’s longevity, skillsets, etc. or you sabotage the culture and divide the team.

Establishing clear and consistent consequences will clarify to the team what they can expect if they choose not to support the ABC Standards. Doctors and Practice Administrators may feel bad or stressed when they have to follow thru with the consequences. Here is the bottom line; the team member chose their consequences when they chose their behavior.
I ask the teams I coach to come up with what they feel are fair consequences for not supporting the ABC Standards. The following four-step process is suggested by most teams.

1. Conversation between team member and source.
2. Verbal warning from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).
3. Written warning from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).
4. Termination from Practice Administrator to source (documented in employee file).

The refreshing part is that in most cases it will not be necessary to enact any consequences when the team sees how awesome it is to work together better!
TA-DAH! And they all worked happily ever after! Thee End!

January 1, 2016

HAPPY New Year! 5 Habits to a Happier Life!

HAPPY New Year! 5 Habits to a Happier Life!

January 2016

It’s that time of year when we wish each other a Happy New Year! I love learning about what helps us succeed at being happy and the effects is has on our life. This month is dedicated to learning 5 habits to help us live a happier life!

The first habit is to practice staying present in the moment. Yesterday is over and gone and tomorrow is just a prediction of the future. Stop dwelling on the past. Our past does not define our future. Instead we can learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others and move on. Stop worrying about the future. Instead have a plan than let it go and get back to the present moment. Be mindful and savor the present moment.

The second habit is to practice focusing on the positive instead of the negative in life. Look for three potential positives in any situation or any person. When you find yourself sliding to the negative ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are three potential positives?
  • What lessons can I learn from this?
  • What changes can I make to make it more positive?

The third habit is to practice showing gratitude daily. When we focus on what we already have in life and give thanks and praise we feel grateful. The more grateful we feel the happier we feel and the happier we feel the more we have to give thanks and praise. It is a very fulfilling cycle of positive circulation.

The fourth habit is to practice using our signature strengths. A signature strength is a moral trait that is innate to us that we know we kick butt at! Some examples of signature strengths are: curiosity, love of learning, perseverance, ingenuity, kindness, hope, forgiveness, social intelligence, team player, loving, humor, appreciation or gratitude. When we use our signature strength we are filled with a sense of joy and well-being. We are in the flow of life. Have you ever felt like pumping your fist and shouting to the world…YES…this is what I am meant to do! Chances are you were utilizing one or several of your signature strengths for the greater good.

The fifth habit is to practice recrafting. Recrafting is taking something and remaking it into something better. We can Recraft a job we do just for a paycheck into a Calling that engages our signature strengths and serves the greater good! We have a choice about what work we do, and about how we go about doing our work. A dentist who views the work as a job and is simply interested in making a good income does not have a Calling. A garbage collector who sees his work as making the world a cleaner and healthier place could have a Calling. The key is not finding the right job, it is finding a job we can make right through recrafting and engaging our signature strengths.

We can achieve a happier life when we practice being present, focus on the positive, show gratitude and live our signature strengths every day in our work and our play for the greater good of all!  The choice is always ours!

December 1, 2015

5 Core Culture Characteristics that Nurture Change!

December 2015

5 Core Culture Characteristics that Nurture Change!

You may have heard the quote; “The only thing that is constant is change!” It is true, change is inevitable but not always positive or successful! The reality is that some work cultures support positive and successful change, while other cultures sabotage change. There are many factors involved, such as team workload, other current changes in progress, team beliefs about change, clear communication about the change, benefits of the change, appropriate training, coaching and support provided during the change, etc.

I help dental teams nationwide successfully embrace change. This month is dedicated to learning how to create a culture where change can be a more positive, successful and sustainable experience!

 

 

Change requires us to have courage to face our fear of the unpredictable unknown! Regardless of how dysfunctional, unhappy, unproductive or toxic the current culture may be it often feels safer to keep the status quo. The known almost always feels safer than the unknown. That is why the value of the change must be clear to those expected to make the change. It is important for the value and benefits of change to rate an 8 or above on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being high. Otherwise, the chance for the change to be sustained is limited.

After working with dental teams for many years I have found 5 consistent characteristics in the cultures that support positive and successful change.

  • Trust in leadership
  • Clear and consistent direction
  • Structured plan
  • Adequate training and practice time
  • Realistic workload

The number one core characteristic that supports change is trust in the leadership. If the team members trust their leader(s) they will be more willing to step into the unpredictable unknown. Leaders can build trust by embodying the following traits:

  • Model the waddle is the number one leadership principle – in other words lead by example
  • Have a clear and consistent direction
  • Be transparent and keep the team in the loop as much as possible
  • Be open to suggestions and feedback
  • Address any obstacles, fears or concerns the team may have

The second core characteristic is to communicate a clear and consistent direction. It is important to use a decision strategy to avoid emotion driven decisions in the heat of the moment. I teach the following four strategic steps:

  • What’s in the best interests of the patients, practice and the team – not any individual and long term
    • Think about 10 months and 10 years instead of next 10 minutes or 10 days
  • What is practical and realistic based on time, people and money currently available
  • What is the precedence being set – if we can’t do it across the board for everyone on the team it will feel like favoritism and divide the team
  • What is the level of passion which we are willing to support the decision – will we support it when push comes to shove even if it may result in losing an employee or a patient

Set your team up to succeed by delegating the change clearly and concisely. I suggest the following delegation process:

  • Clarify expectations
  • Ask questions to make sure everyone understands
  • Write objective down in bullet points if more than a couple of things
  • Set expectation of completion time and date
  • Under promise and over deliver
  • For more involved longer tasks schedule a check in

The third core characteristic is for leadership to work with the team to develop a well-structured plan. If you want the team to embrace a change ask for their suggestions and feedback on how to implement the change. If you want the team to have ownership give them authorship as well. A well-structured plan is well thought out and clearly defined. I teach teams the R.I.S.E. Implementation Process to help them work together to create a well-structured plan. R.I.S.E. is an acronym for Review, Implement, Sustain and Evaluate.

  • Review
    • What is it we are currently doing
    • WIIFTT – What’s in it for the team if we make the change
      • It is important for the value/benefits to rate an 8 or above on scale of 1 to 10 or it is difficult to sustain
  • Implement
    • What are we going to change
    • Who is going to do it
    • Who are we going to do it for
    • When are we going to do it – including time, sequence and flow
    • Where are we going do it – very specific location
    • Why are we going to do it – WIIFTT if we make the change – there must always be something in it for the team for the team to sustain the change
    • How are we going do it
      • Practice verbal skills
      • Practice role playing – yes I know it’s weird but it’s effective
      • Practice the entire physical walk through – never test it out for the first time on a patient
    • Create standard operating procedures
    • Schedule the roll out date
  • Sustain
    • In order to sustain it is important for the new change to become a habit
    • It takes a range of anywhere between 17 to 257 days to form a habit depending on the difficulty with the average being 66 days
      • Give any new change at least 60 days to get comfortable before considering any changes
    • Be precise and consistent to make the change become a habit much sooner
      • Same sequence and steps for every team member every time
    • Support the change positively in words, actions and attitude
  • Evaluate
    • Is the process still working effectively
    • If not what is the value and benefits in a change
    • Any change takes ongoing tweaking

The fourth core characteristic is to schedule appropriate and adequate training and practice time. I have found that the most positive and successful changes happen when the team has time to train and practice.

Team meetings are the perfect opportunity for training and practice time. Utilize your team meetings to:

  • Update systems/protocols
  • Implement new ideas
  • Monitor yearly goals
  • Practice, practice, practice
    • Verbal skills, role playing and physical walk through

Team meetings are more effective when you:

  • Schedule often enough
  • Schedule time enough
  • Schedule when most can attend
  • Get feedback from the entire team
    • Encourage solution focused suggestions on how to overcome potential obstacles

The fifth core characteristic is to be realistic with the workload. It will be very difficult to get the team excited about embracing something new if they are already swamped and consistently running behind. It is important to evaluate whether there is enough time, money and people to implement the change successfully. Even the most committed employees will become resistant to change if they are consistently overwhelmed.

Embodying these 5 core characteristics will nurture a culture where change becomes a more positive, successful and sustainable experience.

October 1, 2015

Sarcasm! What’s the purpose?

October 2015

This month is dedicated to understanding the negative power of sarcasm and how it can make even the best of teams lose trust and respect!

I coach dental teams nationwide and often see sarcasm as a normal form of their communication! It seems so innocent when we refer to it as “just teasing”! Yet it is one of the quickest ways to lose trust and respect amongst the entire team. I often receive calls from dentists concerned that they have lost the trust and respect of their team. I have found the biggest culprit most often responsible is the sarcastic banter between them and their team.

When asked about sarcasm I often hear, “It’s just how we communicate! We tease each other in fun!” The problem is it’s not really fun…it’s negative. Often times a team member doesn’t realize when they have crossed the line. After all they are just teasing…it’s all in fun right??? The truth is sarcasm shuts down positive and effective communication!

I would like you to think about this for a moment. How do you feel when someone says something sarcastic to you and ends it by saying just teasing! Does it ever plant just a tiny seed of doubt? Do you ever think…hmmm…I wonder if they really feel this way? I wonder if they really meant it. The moment we have this thought we start to doubt and immediately start to lose trust and respect. We say sarcasm is in fun! But really who is having fun? Usually only the teaser not the teas-ee!

I try to look for reasons why someone may feel insecure when they speak to me in a sarcastic tone.  Some people use sarcasm as a way of avoiding confrontation because they are afraid of asking for what they want.  Sarcasm can also be passive aggressive or a way to dominate someone.   Others use sarcasm as a disguised barb when they are angry or upset because the are fearful of what might happen if they communicate openly and honestly.  When people are not good at reading those around them, or uncomfortable carrying on a conversation they will often use sarcasm hoping it sounds playful and witty.  Unfortunately it often has the opposite affect.

The dictionary defines sarcasm as the use of irony to mock, insult, ridicule or convey contempt! How is this in any way a positive form of communication! How does sarcasm in any way help build happy, healthy and high performing team relationships? So why do we support it as an appropriate form of communication? Many dental practices do! Does yours?

Sarcasm is not only hurtful, it is also the least genuine mode of communication.  The bottom line is sarcasm is a very negative and destructive way to communicate. It sabotages and undermines trust and respect and the chance to build a happy, healthy and high performing culture.

My challenge to you and your team is to stop the sarcastic remarks and start communicating openly, honestly and respectfully!

September 1, 2015

Top 5 Reasons Team Members Disengage!

September 2015

Top 5 Reasons Team Members Disengage! Last summer I wrote a series of news letters on how to get your team engaged. What I didn’t cover was why team members get disengaged in the first place. Many team members start out as highly engaged team members! They are:

  • Happy to come to work and passionate about their career
  • Connected and loyal to the practice
  • Proud to share with the world where they worked
  • In essence your best walking billboard
  • Excited to learn new things to drive long term success
  • Measuring their success based on the team and practice success

Than some things start happening often and the team member slowly changes over time. In some cases rapidly changes. The things I am referring are things that they perceive as stressful. Stress is the leading cause for disengaging. This month is dedicated to learning about the 5 top stress makers and how to remove them from your office culture!

 

 

The top 5 stresses that cause team members to disengage are:

  • Schedule is a nightmare
  • Move at Mach 10 speed
  • Kicking the dog
  • Lack of value and appreciation
  • No foreseeable change in the future

 

This month we will focus on the schedule is a nightmare! In most cases the doctor(s) and scheduling coordinator do not deviously set out to cram the schedule. It is usually the result from trying to schedule to meet overhead/lower insurance reimbursement, more patients wanting to get in than appointments available or emergency patients.

 

Often times appointment times are lessened to accommodate these concerns. The problem is in most cases the expectations for what needs to be accomplished during that appointment are not reduced. If you try to squeeze a 60 minute appointment into a 40 or 50 minute time slot you will run over. Not unlike trying to pour a 6 ounce glass into a 4 ounce glass. The provider of the appointment feels stressed because they know they will either run over and make the next patient wait or get in trouble for not completing all of the appointment expectations. If this becomes their normal schedule they will eventually disengage, disconnect and stop trying. If you want your team to stay engaged you can’t expect them to consistently do the impossible.

 

The emergency patient. There will be times when you will need to fit a patient in to accommodate their emergency. (It is important to establish standards for what constitutes and emergency in your practice. Always error on the patient’s side.) If it is not an emergency, schedule the patient when there is adequate appointment time.   Inform the patient you will put them on your VIP list and call them with any changes in the schedule.

 

It is very helpful to discuss at the morning huddle the best times to work in an emergency. If you do need to fit in an emergency patient; triage the situation and utilize the team if possible. Define what are the have to haves and let go of nice to haves. Do only what is needed to get the patient out of discomfort and reschedule them for treatment. In some cases the only way to resolve the emergency is to perform the treatment that day. Explain to the patient you will work them in around scheduled patients. Emergency patients are seen after scheduled patients. In rare occasions it may be necessary to reduce the amount of treatment on a scheduled patient to accommodate the emergency patient. Always ask permission from the scheduled patient first by explaining there has been an emergency before reducing their treatment.

 

Scheduling to meet overhead/lower insurance reimbursement not appointment needs. This is the scheduling nightmare that undermines a team member’s level of engagement the most. What often happens is the practice lessens the appointment time to fit the reimbursement level without lessening the appointment expectations. We are in essence expecting our team members to just work harder and faster to make up the difference. In most cases the appointment time was already filled to capacity with appointment expectations before the time reduction. If this is the expectation for your team members…don’t be surprised when they either check out and quit or even worse check out and stay!   After all, if it is impossible there is no hope and no reason for them to keep trying!

 

I do understand that it is necessary to be able to cover overhead and lower insurance reimbursement. However, instead of expecting the team to do the impossible evaluate the appointment times allotted. Schedule adequate time for the have to haves and let go of the nice to haves. If you still don’t have adequate time to accommodate have to haves…add more time.

 

The frustration for many dentists is they strive to deliver exceptional care and service yet receive only minimal reimbursement. Exceptional service takes time and people which costs money. Therefore, we can only deliver service at a level that we can realistically afford. Which means we work at a level that the team we can afford can accommodate. It’s time to evaluate the value of being a participating provider for an insurance when it no longer covers the adequate time needed to deliver your desired level of care and service.

 

We can remove scheduling nightmare stresses when we schedule accordingly to meet the combined needs of our patients, our practice and our team! It’s a win for everyone that results in raising job satisfaction, patient service and the bottom line!

 

Contact Judy Kay today if you would like to learn how she can help you build a cohesive team that support each other and the practice, become better leaders, and deliver service with more passion and fun!

August 1, 2015

How You Make Them Feel!

August 2015

How You Make Them Feel!

Many of us believe it is our level of skill and knowledge that determines our success! When the truth is that there are many highly skilled and knowledgeable people that struggle to succeed. There is an abundance of skill and knowledge available in our society today. In fact we may often feel inundated with too much information! How many product, service or training emails did receive just today and deleted without even opening? Yet most of us will open an email from someone that we like and trust regardless of the topic.

Many of us continue to be customers of certain establishments because we value the relationships we have developed even when other establishments might be better or less expensive. We continue to do business with them because of how they make us feel (trusted, respected, and cared for).   Same goes for our patients. They will decide whether they will continue to do business with us based on how we make them feel!  This message is dedicated to learning how to reach greater success by focusing on improving how you make others feel.

 

 

I recently presented a course titled, Delivering W.O.W. Service: People Will Forget Everything Except How You Make Them Feel, at the PNDC (Pacific Northwest Dental Conference) in Bellevue, Washington. Scott, the camera man who was taking photos of the event happened to be a patient of one of the dentists attending my session. Because my course was about service, brand and loyalty I teasingly asked Scott how he felt about his dentist. Scott’s response was, “He’s awesome!” He shared the following reasons when I asked him why he felt his dentist was awesome.

  • My dentist takes time with me
  • He asks me questions about me and my family
  • He listens to me
  • Everyone on his team is really nice
  • I think he is a good dentist

Notice it wasn’t until the 5th reason that anything pertaining to skill or knowledge was mentioned. The prior four were all about the relationship he had with his dentist and how it made him feel.

Zig Ziglar was spot on when he said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!”

We focus too much of our time, energy and resources on defining who we are and what we can do…instead of focusing on what’s important to our patients and how we make them feel! For example, we create an impressive treatment presentation for our patient. First of all why is it a presentation and not a conversation? Why not a two way conversation where we can make a human connection and find out about what matters to them versus giving them a clinical presentation. It really doesn’t matter how good we are and how awesome we can make their teeth look and function if they don’t trust us and value our treatment suggestions.

Our level of success is a result of the relationships we have built with others whether it be with an employee, co-worker, patient, neighbor, friend or family! How we make them feel determines the strength of that relationship.  Here are a couple of my personal examples of how a strong relationship can trump everything else when it comes to building customer loyalty.

I have had been with the same cell phone company since I purchased my first cell phone in 1992. Yes that was back in the days when the phones were hardwired into the car and were the size of a shoebox. The company has changed names several times and is now T-Mobile. I stay with them because of how their people treat me as a longtime customer.

I have also continued to do business with Tricia Fairchild, my accountant and Mike McHugh my State Farm insurance agent since the early 90s. Why…because I value the relationships we have developed for the same reasons Scott the camera man shared. They take time with me, they ask me questions about me and my family, they listen to me, everyone on their team is nice and I think they are good at what they do. My long term loyalty has nothing to do with them being the absolute best, smartest or cheapest and everything to do with the relationship we have developed over the years. I feel like they know me and care about me as a person as well as my success.

I ask you to take a moment and think about who you have done business with for a period of time? How do they make you feel? Why do you choose to stay loyal to them?  Anytime you interact with others, if focus on how you make them feel you will build a much quicker and stronger relationship.  Our success in life is truly dependent on the relationships we build by how we make others feel when they are around us!

Choose to impact everyone you meet in a positive manner regardless of their behavior or situation. Choose to Smile & Shine and focus on how you make them feel AND you will live a happier and more successful life!

Smile & Shine bands are available on my website at https://www.practicesolutionsinc.net/products.html.

 

July 1, 2015

Don’t Kick the Dog!

July 1, 2015

Don’t Kick the Dog!

I thought the Dog Days of summer would be the perfect time for my topic this month, Don’t Kick the Dog! Both are oppressive. The Dog Days of summer are usually oppressive heat days. Kicking the dog refers to oppressive often displaced behavior towards others. The dog is an analogy for the people who are loyal to us such as a co-workers, friends and family.

This message is dedicated to learning how to stop kicking the dog and instead start loving the dog to build happier, healthier and higher performing relationships!  This is a preview to a larger discussion in August in The Progressive Dentist Magazine, http://theprodentist.com

Some of us are in the habit of kicking the dog whenever we get frustrated because something didn’t meet our expectations! Don’t Kick the Dog!  It is important to remember that the dog is a loyal co-worker, friend or family member. They are the ones who can and will help us most! You may have heard, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Which is actually saying, that when you’re trying to accomplish something, you’ll have more success by using ‘sweeter’ (i.e. politer, nicer) methods than by being angry, frustrated, rude, or cruel. Think about it for a second. Why would anyone go out of their way to help you achieve your goals if your behavior is oppressive towards them?

Here are a few common scenarios that illustrate kicking the dog.

The schedule falls apart and the doctor takes their frustration out by blaming the team so the team takes their frustration out by blaming each other. The reality is neither the doctor nor the team was responsible for the schedule falling apart. It was the patients who either didn’t show or canceled last minute.

We are running behind because a patient came late or the treatment was more involved. We take our frustrations out on our co-workers by blaming them for not helping us enough. They did not make us run behind or make the treatment more difficult.

We get home from a long and tiring day at work and take our frustrations out on our family. They had absolutely nothing to do with what happened during our day AND they are the people we love the most!

In each of these scenarios the person being kicked had nothing to do with the cause for frustration. They just happened to be unlucky enough to be work with us or live with us or just be in the vicinity.   The next time you feel like kicking the dog stop yourself immediately and remember that the dog is loyal to you. Instead start showing them the love they deserve by taking the following steps:

 

  • Breathe deep for a minimum of 30 seconds to surpass the fight or flight stage and get back into the cognitive thinking stage. Take 10 very deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth!
  • Shift your energy from frustration and blame to a caring and solution focused energy by being mindful that they did not cause the problem. They can help you.
  • Don’t assume anything instead ask questions until you clearly understand what happened.
  • Slow down and take the time to ask for help instead of running crazy trying to put out all the fires yourself. How can you be angry at others if you didn’t ask for their help?
  • Let go of the blame game of who did or didn’t do what and instead focus on what steps can help you move forward to achieve your goals.
  • Brainstorm and work together to strategize a plan to change future results.
  • Clearly define the implementation strategy by defining the what, who does it and who for, when, where, why and how.
  • Schedule check-ins to create accountability.
  • Address whenever something isn’t happening the same day if possible with a kind and supportive reminder. Remember we said we were going to…This will help the other person get back on track and avoid frustrations from building. Accountability does not mean you ask for something once. Accountability means we follow though until the task has been completed.
  • Show appreciation by thanking everyone who came to your assistance and helped you to resolve the frustration.

We can build happier, healthier and higher performing relationships and get the results we desire when we stop kicking and start loving the dog! It’s a win for everyone including the dog!

June 1, 2015

Clear, Effective Communication!

June 2015

Clear, Effective Communication!

Regardless of whether you’re talking about business, politics, sports or healthcare, the most successful people are first-rate communicators. Clear, effective communication is key to their success. To grow as a leader, manager or team member, it is necessary to learn how to master the art of clear, effective communication.

This month is dedicated to learning how to communicate more clearly and effectively to raise your level of success!

Here are 5 tips to help you communicate more clearly and effectively to raise your level of success in life!

 

  1. Be Transparent

Choose to be transparent in all communications. We want others to trust not only what we say, but what we mean. There are no hidden agendas, gray areas or reading between the lines. Transparency sheds light on our intentions and builds trust. People work hard for and follow the people they trust!

 

  1. Avoid Rambling

We often ramble on, particularly when we are nervous. Try to keep your phrasing succinct and focused and don’t go off on tangents. Data dumping too much information at one time is confusing to the listener. State your point briefly and clearly – then be quiet. Silence gives the listener a chance to consider what you’ve said, and respond.

 

  1. Avoid Using Demeaning Words

Remove the hedging phrases like “I just,” “I only,”…” from your vocabulary. Sometimes you may need to soften the impact of what you’re saying when you’re in a touchy situation. Choose language that softens the impact without demeaning what you’re saying.

 

  1. Ask

A lot of us never ask for what we need or want. We hold it inside and then get resentful when we don’t get it. Be clear with yourself first about what you want, and then ask for it. People can’t read our mind…well at least most people can’t! One of my favorite new phrases is “I prefer…” which is a kinder, gentler version of “I need” or “I want,” but it clearly states your preferences and it works. I have adopted a new motto in my life. I ask myself, “what have I got to lose”? If it’s not a life and death situation I ask for what I want. It’s amazing how many things have manifested in my life simply because I asked!

 

  1. Control Your Emotions

Show passion and positive Emotions. It shows you are human, you care and are excited about life. However, control negative emotions such as anger, frustration, outbursts and dramatic displays. If something takes you by surprise, and you feel yourself getting emotional, tell them you need to think about it and will get back to them by a certain time. This will allow you time to regroup and respond clearly and logically instead of emotionally.

Utilizing these 5 communication tips will help you to communicate more clearly and effectively and raise your level of success in life!

May 1, 2015

The F.I.X. Conversation!

May 2015

 

The F.I.X. Conversation!

 

I often hear the following sentiments when I am coaching teams to help them work together better.  “The office would be great if it weren’t for them!  The “them” they are referring to are the people that annoy them!

The reality is we can’t fix other people’s behavior we can only fix our own.  If we want to make our relationship better the only way we are going to have a chance is by focusing where the control is…our self.  Our power in getting others to change starts with our own willingness to change ourselves.  This month is dedicated to learning how to communicate more effectively to resolve problems in our relationships.

We only move forward once we realize someone else can’t fix our relationships problems for us…only those of us involved in the relationship can fix the problems. The boss, manager or HR can’t fix relationships. Even a relationship expert like myself can’t fix other people’s relationships. I coach and help facilitate a more positive conversation with less emotional energy. However, The F.I.X. is dependent on the people involved in the conflict.

Conflicts are really just a conversation with emotional energy resulting from a false assumption, difference of opinion or a different x-pectation. SO to F.I.X our relationships we must first F.I.X. our conversations. The F.I.X. Conversation starts by:

  • Everyone involved in the relationship wanting to actually make things better
  • Realizing that what is currently being done isn’t working

The relationship will fail if there is not consensus on these two things.

The F.I.X. Conversation is a three step process that empowers individuals to fix their problems in the relationship! F.I.X. is an acronym for Focus, Identify and X-pectation!

F – Focus first on the positives in the relationship. What is currently working in the relationship? We can get so wrapped up in what’s not working we fail to see all the wonderful things that are working.   Share with the other person what you appreciate about them.  Highlight the positives.

I – Identify the key issues or obstacles that need to be addressed. Examine current behaviors happening in the relationship. Communicating about the obstacles often uncovers the false assumptions that created them in the first place. Make sure the main issues and obstacles are listed or they won’t be resolved. What needs to be changed or improved to make the relationship better? What does better mean? Be specific; have a better attitude is too general. Instead, clarify what a better attitude means to you. Base it on actions to start doing versus actions to stop doing. For example:

  • Greet each other warmly in the morning
  • Smile at each other throughout the day
  • Happily help and support each other

X – X-pectations for behaviors moving forward. What does each person need from the other to make the relationship succeed? Together come up with a plan of specific actions to make the relationship better. It is important that the plan always support the practice standards and is in the best interests of the patients and the practice. What will each person agree to do differently regardless of circumstances or outside influences (other people)? Agree to no longer blame anyone or anything for their actions. They are the sole owner of their actions! Commit to a plan of action that is a win for everyone involved. Start implementing the plan immediately. The more precise and consistent the new behavior becomes the sooner it will become a habit and a sustainable fix!

Stop focusing on the problems and start communicating about what can F.I.X. the relationship and you will build sincere, strong and sustainable relationships!

 

April 1, 2015

Behavior versus Personality Trait

April 2015

Behavior versus Personality Trait!

I have the privilege of helping dental teams nationwide communicate and work together better, become better leaders and deliver service with more passion and fun! A big part of the process is to shed light on the obstacles that get in their way. One of the biggest obstacles people struggle with is the belief that their behavior is their personality…AND they can’t change their personality…it is just who they are!   Therefore, they cannot change!

The dictionary defines personality as the sum total of the physical, mental, emotional, and social characteristics of an individual. Whereas behavior is defined as the aggregate of responses to internal and external stimuli.

Our personality is who we are but does not have to determine our behavior.   Our behavior is a response to what is happening and we can always choose our response.   Once we understand this we are no longer limited by our personality traits.

I was working with a scheduling coordinator, I will refer to as Fran (her name has been changed) who did not exude warm fuzzys to the patients. The doctor and manager wanted a warm and welcoming scheduling coordinator. My first step was to confirm with Fran whether she wanted to be a friendly scheduling coordinator. She said “I do…but how I greet people and answer the phone is just who I am. I can’t be fake!” I reassured her that I did not want her to be fake but instead come from a place of genuine care and warmth. I asked her to think about something or someone she loved. She took a moment and said, “oooohhhh I love my dog!” As she said it her eyes sparkled and she smiled wide. In that moment she was actually beaming warm fuzzys! I said, “That’s it! That’s the energy and emotion that we are looking for!” Fran said, “But I don’t feel that way about the patients. Most of the patients aren’t very friendly to me! I only feel this way about my dog! My dog loves me! AND even if I wanted to I still can’t change my personality! I am not going to be all miss sunshine, rainbows and kittens! It’s just not me!” I told her I didn’t expect her to change her personality to be sunshine, rainbows and kittens. I was just asking her to change her behavior in how she treated the patients. The awesome thing was it was not even a new behavior she had to learn. She had already displayed it talking about her dog. All she had to do was replicate those same behaviors with the patients.

We taped a little picture of her dog where she could quickly glance at it to help her genuinely smile before answering the phone or greeting a patient. Fran was able to make the change once she understood smiling and greeting patients warmly was a learnable behavior not a set personality trait. Funny thing is that when I checked in with her to see how she was doing…she shared that the patients seemed to be a whole lot friendlier to her lately! Hmmm might have something to do with the energy she now radiates! Just saying…it’s the Law of Attraction in action!

Often times we get so wrapped up defending who we are we don’t realize it is our behavior that is in question and not our personality. The next time you are asked to make a change instead of going into defense mode and responding, “I can’t change this is just who I am,” ask yourself the following questions:

 

  • Where have I demonstrated the desired behavior?
  • How can I replicate this behavior in this situation?

 

Once we understand that our behavior is just a response which we can choose to change at any time AND not our personality…We are open to create limitless success!

Contact Judy Kay today if you would like to learn how she can help you build a cohesive team that support each other and the practice, become better leaders, and deliver service with more passion and fun!

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