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August 1, 2013

the Sunny Side of Life, Part II

I teach my audiences and clients 5 Rays to help them rise above their circumstances and live life on the sunny side!

  • Entitlement Expectations
  • SPF
  • Labeling
  • Mindful Talk
  • Celebration

Hopefully your July was happier after reading last month’s news letter on Entitlement Expectations and SPF!  This month we are going to continue on with Labeling and Mindful Talk!

Ray 3 – Labeling

Words that label have tremendous impact on our attitude and how we feel. We have to be careful about how we label the relationships, events and outcomes we have in life. If we label something as bad it becomes our belief and we manifest feelings and emotions that support the label of bad. I find using the word interesting instead of bad takes away the negative power.

Our beliefs of positive and negative are based on our past experiences. If we do something and we have what we believe to be a negative outcome we will label it as negative. Yet we may have an entirely different outcome if we attempted to do it again. For example, I went on a hot air balloon ride over Napa Valley for my 50th birthday (just a few short years ago). It was serene and wonderful. I am even afraid of heights and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would label it as a very positive experience. However the following day the winds came up unexpectedly and the balloons had a difficult time landing. I may have labeled it as negative had I gone on that day…and most likely would never consider going again. The great news is we can change our belief from negative to positive when we add new experiences that our positive.

Truthfully, how can we label something as good or bad if we don’t know the end? None of us have a crystal ball. So how do we really know if something is good or bad? There have been many things in my life that at the time seemed interesting that actually turned out generating a very positive outcome. Haven’t we all thought or said this is going to be bad at one time or another and yet it turned out to be one the best things to happen to us. 


 

Ray 4 – Mindful Talk

It is imperative that we are mindful of our self talk if we want to live life on the sunny side!  The majority of self talk takes place so quickly and automatically that we don’t even notice we are doing it. Even if you don’t really listen to your chatter, your subconscious mind is listening.  The subconscious mind just accepts everything you tell it, and responds accordingly. 

 Some examples of negative self-talk are:

  • Worry – Fear of what if ???
  • Perfectionism – Not good enough or should haves!
  • Self-Criticism – Compares you to others, with you being the loser.
  • Self-Doubt – Lack of confidence that you can do or achieve your dreams.
  • Being a Victim – You have no control over your circumstances, and you and your life are bad luck!

The awesome news is we can hard wire our brain to start thinking more positively!  When we have mindful talk and actively choose where to focus our thoughts and repeatedly apply it to a wholesome and constructive thought we eliminate the negative deceptive self talk!

July 1, 2013

The Sunny Side of Life

Have you ever thought, “I was in great mood until blank happened?”  When we allow blank (whatever blank is at the moment) to affect how we feel we are in essence relinquishing our power and allowing circumstances to control our emotions.  If we allow our circumstances to control our emotions we become a victim of our circumstances.  The truth is; circumstances don’t dictate how we feel we do!  It is always our choice!

Here are 5 Rays to help you rise above your circumstances and live life on the sunny side!

Entitlement Expectations
SPF
Labeling
Mindful Talk
Celebration

This month we will cover Entitlement Expectations and SPF!

Ray 1 – Entitlement Expectations
Here is where we often lose our positive…we judge our circumstances based on our expectations. I call this judgment “Entitlement Expectations”. What I mean by “Entitlement Expectations” is that we expect a certain relationship, event, thing, or outcome. When our expectations aren’t met we judge our life as less than and get frustrated, angry or disappointed. Haven’t we all felt; this should have happened, or I deserved this or I expected that. These are examples of “Entitlement Expectations”. To avoid “Entitlement Expectations” it is necessary to embrace the following concepts:

Life is uncertain!

Life is unexpected!

Everything is temporary!

No one owes us anything!

There is humor even in difficult situations!

Life can change in a moment!

When we embrace these concepts we learn to stop judging our circumstances as less than regardless of what they are!

Ray 2 – SPF
SPF is an acronym for “Super Positive Focus”! Yes I will confess I am an acronym addict! Regardless of what the circumstances are there is always positive somewhere even in the most negative of situations! You just need to look for it. Developing a “Super Positive Focus” means you look for and focus on the positive even in the darkest of situations. Think about all the tragedies from the storms. One huge positive was all the people helping each other to overcome and survive. You can develop your SPF by forming a habit of identifying what’s positive in every situation. Even if the only thing positive was the lesson you learned to never do it again! You grew from the experience and that is a positive!

Tune in next month to learn more ways to live a life on the sunny side!

June 1, 2013

Code of Conduct

Even the best of us can lose our way in all the noise and hubbub of the day to day stresses! Establishing a Code of Conduct for the practice will help the entire team keep on track…even in stressful situations!

A Code of Conduct is really about thinking before reacting. Behaviorally, that means testing decisions and planned activities for “rightness” before implementing them.

Here are 6 questions to help you create your own code of conduct:

  • Is it legal?
  • Does it align with my values?
  • Will I be comfortable and guilt-free if I do it?
  • Would I do it to my family and friends?
  • Would I perfectly okay with someone doing it to me?
  • Would the most ethical person I know do it?

I suggest a team meeting (3 hours minimal) to establish a Code of Conduct for the practice.  Start the meeting by reviewing the Practice’s Core Values and Vision.  Ask the entire team to share how, when and where they feel the Core Values are not being supported.  Utilize a large easel pad and markers to write down all the concerns being shared.  Discuss the breakdowns that are happening.  What current behaviors support the Core Values?  What current behaviors need changing to support the Core Values?  The behaviors you list that support as well as the necessary changes become your new Code of Conduct!

It is very important for the We Team (leadership team) to be willing to lead by example on whatever is established as the Code of Conduct.

Here are an examples of commitments from a Code of Conduct.

  • Model the waddle you want to see
  • Set and maintain high standards – no double standards
  • Support a no gossip culture
  • Communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully
  • Treat patients and each other how you want to be      treated
  • Resolve conflict by going to the source the same day if      possible
  • Take ownership, follow through, and be accountable for      your mistakes
  • Support each other and hold each other accountable to      the standards of behavior, communication, attitude and service

Having a Code of Conduct will empower the entire team to support the Core Values!

April 1, 2013

Conversation or Conflict?

The real problem is that many of us go through life trying to avoid dealing with conflict out of fear! We hope it will just go away! But the more we try to avoid it the more it builds until eventually it escalates to a point to where there is serious damage to the relationship.  Our success and joy in life depends greatly on our relationships! Life would be so much easier if conflict did not exist. But that isn’t real life!  I invite you to listen to and read this month’s newsletter to learn the 5 easy steps to turn conflict into just a conversation! 

March 1, 2013

Making Decisions that Get Results! How to Soar in 2013!

 Make Decisions that Get Results!

Decisions, decisions, decisions…what to do, when, where, why and how!  Many of us do not like moving outside our comfort zone. We like to feel safe and secure so we resist making decisions. We don’t want to look foolish or fall flat on our faces.  The older we get the more complacent we become.  The problem with complacency is it kills our passion.  It makes us play ourselves small. It clips our wings and keeps us from soaring to new heights.  The decision of whether to play it safe and hang on to what we know and just survive…or take a leap of faith and go after our dreams and try to soar!

The five fundamental phases in the decision making process are choice, assessment, conviction, determination, and result.  So let’s start with Choice because it is the starting point for all our decisions.  Just like Before we can make a decision we need to narrow down our focus to our main priority.  (I invite you to read February’s newsletter if you want to read more about focus.)  What will be your focus for 2013?  Will it be just to continue doing the same things you have always done and play it safe or will it be to take on new things to attempt to soar?  Choosing your focus will determine where you go!

The second phase is Assessment.  Assessing our strengths and where we need to grow to soar will determine when and where we need to focus.

Conviction is the third phase.  Having conviction that we can achieve our goal allows us to try new things and push ourselves to heights we have never been before. 

 Determination is the fourth phase.  If we don’t have determination we will not be be willing to put forth the effort to do the work whenever necessary to implement, maintain and sustain our goal!

The fifth and final phase is Result!  It is important to know what you want your end result to be…otherwise, how will you know when to celebrate your success! 

 It’s your decision!  How high will you soar?

 

April 30, 2012

Fluff & Stuff of Appreciation

What’s the big deal?  After all how important could appreciation really be?  The truth is appreciation is not fluff but instead it is really the stuff that helps nurture our purpose and value!  Please watch the video below!

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